Thoughts of a crazy redhead.

Happy Valentines Day..

2012-02-14T01:11:00.000-08:00

I used to never be a fan of Valentines Day until I met Steve. He really has shown me that Valentines Day is to celebrate our love for each other. Although we celebrate everyday this is a special day to go out and make each other feel "special"

This year we are going to lunch only because Steve has fire academy on Tuesday nights and we will not be able to go out to dinner. That is ok.. I will settle for lunch. Life is about give and take and well this is my turn to give .. I know how important this fire academy is to him and he has to attend it so I am ok with a nice lunch. My Dad will have the girls and we get to enjoy a quiet lunch for Valentines Day! :)

I hope all you lovers out there get to enjoy your day too. :)

{ Life update }

2012-01-24T01:50:00.000-08:00

Things here on my end have been stressful, not a good way to start out the new year :( BUT I am holding my head high and standing my grounds no matter what. I will fight for what is right. I cannot go into detail but I have some issues at my work that I am having to resolve with the Union and it isn't going over very well. I will not go down without a fight. When I know I am wrong then I back down and apologize and go on with my life, but when I know I am right I do not give up without a HUGE fight. So this fight is emotionally draining me and pretty stressful and makes the work environment pretty hostile. :( But like I said I keep my head held high go to work and do my job and come home to my beautiful family. That is the best I can do.

The family and I ( mostly me ) is looking to buy a horse, No big rush. We are looking for the right one for our family. It has to be one that the girls can handle and not a green broke one. I want a mellow horse that I can teach the girls on from the ground work ( brushing, grooming etc. ) and work up to teaching them how to ride. So this will eventually be a new edition to our family now that we have more than plenty room for one.

Steve's busy season for his business has started back up so he will be gone a lot again, working his events plus he has started the volunteer fire academy to become a volunteer out here in our fire district. So yea he stays busy as usual. This man NEVER wants to slow down. And if he does it doesn't last long :( But I am learning to take what time I get with him and let him do whatever he loves and go with it. :)

The girls are LOVING our new home and their new freedom to go outside without having me worry constantly. At our old place I could never let me out with me standing in the middle of the road cause we were on a blind corner and people would fly around the corner. Here we are behind a coded gate and they can go out and ride up and down the driveway and to the barn all day long and play outside all day without me having to worry about them being ran over by a car or abducted. So they are just loving it. That makes me happy.

And we are all enjoying our nightly sunsets when we are home in the evenings... this is one I captured last week. It was amazing!!

Just testing

2012-01-18T00:27:00.001-08:00

Testing 1 2 3 4 5

{ I love my job }

2012-01-17T19:42:00.000-08:00

On a somewhat slow but steady Sunday night things were going ok at work. I was in my favorite section with one of my favorite ambassadors and supervisors. I was staying just busy enough to make the night go by fast, so my night was turning out to be a good one but got even better when I got a call on the radio and here is how it went:

Mari- Available ambassador section 6
Me- Go ahead
Mari- Can you go to bank 664-03 and ask Jenny if it is ok if a man by the name of Darryl comes over to see her.
Me- Copy- I will be just a minute I am 10-6 cashing a ticket
Mari- Copy thank you

Me- Ok Mari I am 10-49 to bank 664-03
Mari- Copy

I go to bank 664-03 and a blonde lady was sitting there I approached her and asked her if her name was Jenny and she said Yea, looking at me with a puzzled look. I told her that there is a man by the name of Darryl who would like to come over and see her and she put her hands to her face and said OMG! OMG! That is my husband. OMG! I said ok! So is it ok? She started crying. I didnt know what to think. lol She then told me that her husband has been away in Canada for 3 years on a job and she has not seen him in 3 years and she wanted to know how he found her. I said I do not know but can he come over here and see you? She said OMG yes of course he can. So I call Mari on the radio.

Me- Judi to Mari
Mari- Go ahead
Me- Go ahead and bring that guest on over

Mari walks him over and Jenny just melts into his arms and is balling her eyes out. It was soooo soooo sweet that he surprised her like that. After she was done balling she asked him how he found her and he said he called her parents and they said she was out at the casino and he came out to the casino and walked around trying to find her but couldnt ( since it is so big now ) so he stopped Mari and asked to have her paged but we do not page anymore so Mari said she could look her up by players card number and sure enough it worked out great. The happy couple went off and spent the night playing and having drinks together. It was super sweet! I had to hold tears back as well.

That totally made my night!! :) That is one night I could say I love my job! lol

Vitamin D

2012-01-07T22:12:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I sent my doctor an email telling him I was always tired and thought maybe my thyroid was low again and that it hadn't been checked in 2 years so I thought it was time. He agreed. I went in and did my blood work and he did a check on my thyroid, liver, kidneys, bone marrow, cholesterol and vitamin D levels.

Yesterday I received an email from my doctor telling me that my cholesterol is GREAT! Keep up the good work, my thyroid, liver, kidneys, and bone marrow were within the levels they should be BUT my vitamin D level was extremely low. It is suppose to be 50-75ng and mine is 12ng right now and he is pretty concerned about that because having low vitamin D can lead to bone issues, depression, fatigue (which I seriously have) and other issues. So he prescribed 50,000iu of vitamin D supplement . WOWZA! That is a high dose. I cannot wait to start taking the supplement so I can start to feel better ... I am tired of always being tired.

So all in all my bloodwork was great news. Once I get on my prescription of vitamin D and start feeling better I will be a happy girl. :)

No New Years Resolutions

2012-01-05T13:58:00.000-08:00

I do not do New Year Resolutions, So instead I like to make mini goals and one of them this year is to get on a healthier eating plan and get my family on that plan as well. I have slowly been buying things for us to try and so far a few things they REALLY like. Such as whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat tortillas (my fav) and now a new favorite of ours is SILK soy milk. It is very smooth and really good for you and I am thankful my girls really like it. I have also got my girls to like spinach instead of regular salad, they are not thrilled with it but they will eat it mixed in with their salad :)

So this new year is going to be focusing on eating better, exercising more, taking more vitamins daily for all of us and getting healthy. One step at a time. Just bringing in one thing new at a time to try and if we like it YAY! So far it has been a success, thank god! :)

The silk is great with a bowl of cereal of by itself. :) YUMMY!

Happy New Year

2012-01-03T23:07:00.000-08:00

We said goodbye to 2011- yet again you can guess where I was when we were all ringing in the New Year.. Yep at work as usual. Seems like all I do is work. This New Years I was pretty emotional, up until 11:59pm work was sooo soooo damn busy I did not have time to stop and think about being at work that I just kept going ... then when our announcer started the countdown to midnight and said to grab your loved one and hold them tight and get ready for the first kiss of 2012, I have to say looking around and seeing all the couples kissing and holding each other really got to me. I was in tears and just wanted to be with Steve but I had no idea where he was at. The clock struck midnight and everyone yelled "Happy New Year" and my night continued on once again another year without a New Year kiss :( I know it isn't that big of a deal but with the job we have it takes away from things that are important to every day people. I have worked every holiday the last 4 years and since Steve and I have been together we have not had one New Years kiss.

This year I need to focus on some things that I will tell you all about later on in another blog. These things are going to make things a lot better for me and for my family and I am looking forward to them. I do not do New Years resolutions, I just set mini goals and once reached I them I set yet another mini goal. Once I get these mini goals in line I will make another blog and fill you all in.

Christmas.. another one has come and gone

2012-01-03T22:51:00.001-08:00

Christmas this year was pretty good. Although I had to work it yet AGAIN it was still a good day. Steve and I got up with the girls and let them open their gifts here at our house then headed over to my Dad and Stepmoms about 11:30 am to start our Christmas dinner. Steve and I both had to be to work at 4pm so we ate around 2:30pm. The girls were so spoiled yet again this year.. They got so much and then some. It was a great day other than having to leave and go to work. I really just wanted to stay home and enjoy my family. But duty calls and we got paid double time on Christmas day so it was worth it.

Visiting family..

2011-12-23T10:51:00.000-08:00

Wednesday we went to Santa Nella to meet my mom, grandma and niece. Santa Nella is halfway for us both and we do it every year to exchange gifts. We had lunch at Dennys and visited for awhile and hung out. It was nice but WAY to short. We left Dennys and all went to Pea Soup Andersons and looked at their souvenirs and then we drove home. It was an all day event but so worth it. I am glad my niece got to come too. It was good to see her. Miss them all.

Here are a few photos:

Christmas..

2011-12-23T10:34:00.000-08:00

Christmas is 2 days away and I am proud to say I am done shopping, I didn't even start till Wednesday night and finished Wednesday night. lol I have been such a slacker OMG! But I am done and my kiddos are gonna be happy, they don't have much but they have some of the things they have asked for. I started back to work the second week of December and before that my funds coming in were very low so I was not able to start much sooner. But I am done, so that is good. I actually have to go to CVS tonight for stocking stuffers. I really dislike stocking stuffers but my kiddos love them. So anything to make them smile. I have to take them to their fathers today. UGH! I don't want to for MANY reasons but I have too. :( I pick them up again tomorrow at 2 pm so it won't be to bad.

This year has been so hard with moving the second week of December that we were not even able to get a Christmas tree so we got a little tiny tree and it will have to do. It is cute but not what the family is used to when we get to go out and cut one down normally that has been our tradition. Makes me a little sad but this year we have to do what we have to do. I have some photos of our tree and decorations.

Work..Kids..Life..

2011-12-13T21:25:00.000-08:00

All four letter words.. lol

Time for an update.. I started back to work last Thursday December 8th, 2011 and made it a full work week. It was tough at first but towards the end of the week I was doing ok. I am glad to have our weekend to try and get as many things done in our new house as possible. I can't wait to start bringing in the money again. I miss my big paychecks. lol Just in time for Christmas... Speaking of Christmas. UGH! I have not bought one thing. Have not decorated one thing, we have no tree. :( I am not sure we are going to get one either. If we do it will be a little bitty Charlie Brown Tree. lol But hey a tree is a tree right? The girls are a little bummed about the Christmas tradition of cutting a tree down but they understand. I have to work on Christmas AGAIN, like the last 4 freaking years. Grrrr I sooo miss having the holidays with my family. We always work around my work schedule but still it sucks. Next week we get to see my Mom and Gma like we do every year .. it is a tradition too it seems. We drive halfway and meet them in Santa Nella and have lunch and exchange gifts, visit and take photos. We enjoy it. :)

We are completely out of our old house and now ready to create memories and traditions in our new home. I can't wait to get the floor finished in the dining room so we can start hanging things on the walls. We still have to finish the dry wall in the living room and the adjacent wall which is Hannah's room. We have Emily and Natalie's room to put carpet in and that is done and we have to dry plaster the laundry room and part of the guest bathroom .. seems like a lot but it really isn't. Then we are slowly going to replace the flooring in the master bathroom to tile planks instead of the ugly carpet it has now. I do not like carpet in bathrooms and never have understood why people put carpet in bathrooms, it is just looking for a mold issue. Eventually the kitchen and dining room will have the flooring replaced too but it doesn't have to be done right away, we can slowly replace them at our convenience. So it is coming along slowly but surely.

The kids are doing great in school still and are loving the new home, they go to their dads every other weekend. But I am not sure if that will change because they have said they do not want to go anymore because of the way he treats them. It gets bad over there and he does things I truly do not agree with .. ugh!! I will not go into detail but I know if you all knew what I know you would not want to allow your children around the neighbors and especially allow them to spend the night with these strangers. I will leave it at that.

So all in all life is going great, We could not be happier in our new home. It is ALOT of work but when is moving NOT alot of work. We doubled our space, this new house is double the size of our old home.

Well until next time I blog.. goodnight!

Busy as heck lately..

2011-12-01T23:27:00.001-08:00

So I haven't had much time to blog. Been so busy packing the old house still, then painting the new house and getting it ready to move into. We are getting new floors in it here in the next few days and I have almost all of the painting done... I did have a painting partner until we discovered a pretty serious mold issue in Natalie and Emilys room. So we had to rip the dry wall out and the floor and replace it all. Natalie and Emily's room is backed up to the laundry room and 2nd bathroom and the laundry room has had a leak where the washer gets hooked into and the mold was just insane. It HAD to be repaired before move in so the girls do not get sick. So Steve was my painting partner is now working on getting the mold issue fixed and putting the walls and floors back in. :)

I am painting the Kitchen, Living room, Dining room, hallway, and master bedroom all Navajo white.. Emily and Natalie's room is going to be what is called a "dusty rose" color it is a pinkish lavender and Hannah is wanting her room to be a light aqua color. I can't remember the actual name of it. Then Hannah wants to do some "sponge" painting of hearts and stars in her room and I am sure Emily and Natalie will too. So that will be a project after we move in.

We officially move out of the old place on December 10th and will be in the new home by then. I am sooo excited and can't wait to be out of this tiny duplex and away from these loud obnoxious neighbors. I start back to work soon too and then my time will be a lot less to work on the new place. I go back on December 5th. I am ready to go back for one reason and one reason only.. that reason is for the paycheck every two weeks. Other than the paycheck I really could careless about that place. lol I get paid really well and well can't seem to find anything else that would ever pay anywhere near what I get at the casino.

I have some before photos of the new place and will get some after photos when we are all done painting and the new floors are in. I have most of the painting done but it sure takes awhile .. two sometimes three coats of paint. UGH! I have the girls who have been helping me A LOT .. they love to paint.

So this is all that has been going on, busy here at the old place and extremely busy at the new place getting it all clean and ready to move in. Fresh paint and new floors and we are good to go and have I mentioned we have the most awesome neighbors and landlords EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! They are the sweetest most thoughtful people. They are literally paying us to fix there place up and we have NO problem doing so. They love the girls and told the girls that they can call them grandma and grandpa. :) Soo cute!

So until next time.... I am not sure when I will be able to blog again. Hopefully soon.... but things are crazy!!

Top photo: Is the view from our front porch

Bottom photo: Is the view from our front porch as well of the Sutter Buttes on a very clear day.

R.I.P Po-Po

2011-11-20T22:46:00.001-08:00

Emily's favorite security pillow she calls Po-Po has been laid to rest. It is beyond repair, needs stuffing and has major rips and the material is soooo very see through. Emily has had her Po-Po for 8 years and was a little sad to see her go, but she is happy we got to do a little "memorial" Oh I love my kids... They are soo funny. Po-Po served many years with Emily keeping her from being afraid of the boogie man under her bed and in her closet she said, she also said that her Po-Po dried her tears and wiped her nose. lol

Here are a few photos of Po-Po and Emily:

THE END!! RIP PO-PO

{Tomorrow}

2011-11-19T18:08:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow

Annie:

The sun'll come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow there'll be sun

Just thinkin' about tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs
And the sorrow 'til there's none

When I'm stuck with a day
That's gray and lonely
I just stick out my chin
And grin and say, oh

The sun'll come out tomorrow
So you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow
Come what may

Tomorrow, tomorrow
I love you tomorrow
You're always a day away

The sun'll come out tomorrow
So you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow
Come what may

Tomorrow, tomorrow
I love you tomorrow
You're always a day away

Tomorrow, tomorrow
I love you tomorrow
You're always a day away

The above photos are of me as a child, I loved the movie Annie and I knew every single word to most of the songs, although "Tomorrow" was my favorite. To this day I still know every word to this song :)

Webkins..

2011-11-19T18:04:00.001-08:00

My girls are all into the Webkins, the cute little stuffed animals they can interact with online. They are really cute stuffed animals. They all three now have one each and want to add to their collection already lol Here is a photo of the girls with their webkins.

Happy 7th Birthday Natalie

2011-11-18T15:44:00.001-08:00

So hard to believe that my baby, my last born is 7 today. She has grown so much and is so very smart. I am very proud of her and all her accomplishments. She is a tomboy with a little hint of girl in her. lol She likes a lot of boys toys, likes to dress like a boy (nothing to glittery or foo foo) she has to play boy in all games with her sisters, BUT she still likes girl stuff too. Hannah told her one day she would pay her a $1.00 if she wore a dress and Natalie told her no way that is not enough money. lol She is sooo funny. She is definitely a tomboy. :)

Here is a photo of her at birth and now. Happy Birthday Natalie Alice ..

Wordless Wednesday {a day late}

2011-11-17T19:06:00.001-08:00

Lazy bones..

2011-11-14T22:44:00.001-08:00

What a rough life to just lounge around on the couch all day.. lol Frank is a spoiled rotten pug!!

Good news..

2011-11-12T10:04:00.001-08:00

We are moving...

I know to some that might not seem like good news, BUT it is to us for many reasons. We live in a duplex now with noisy jerk neighbors who are VERY inconsiderate. They slam their doors all hours of the day and rattle the walls. They have about 5 cars and leave no where to park. They have surround sound on their tv and rattle the picture frames on our joined wall. They hang their laundry all OVER the fence (front and back) to dry instead of using their dryer (yes they have one) it looks soooo tacky to see undies and bras hanging on your fence. I could go on but you get the point.

So I have been looking for another place for a very long time that is within our budget and something that will be better than sharing a wall with a neighbor (even a house in town would have made me happy) until one day I was on craigslist and I saw an ad for a 3 bed 2 bath home on 20 acres. It caught my eye and I opened the ad, It is still here in Lincoln and it was like a dream come true. In our budget too. So I sent them an email and figured since the ad was 4 days old that it was already rented due to the fact that homes around here on acreage DO not last long especially at that great of a price. I got an email back the next day saying that it was still available and to call them. So we did and well the rest is history. We got to go look at it and fell in love. The owners are an elderly couple who are just absolutely so sweet and kind. They live on the 20 acres as well. The property is fenced and overlooks the town of Lincoln and you can even see the Sutter Buttes from the house. They have a beautiful pond on the property as well. We got to go in and look at the home and it is HUGE over 1400 sq. feet and sooo nice. I cannot wait to start our life out there. It has a oversized 2 car garage. They have a 8 stall barn, lighted arena, and a hay barn as well. Since they are elderly they sold all their horses and are happy to be renting to someone who will possibly be owning a horse in the near future. I want my girls to have that experience like I did. They are open to animals even for the girls to do 4-H.

I cannot tell you how excited we are, girls are excited too but they are just concerned about having to move schools which I will not do to them in the middle of the school year. Next year they will go to the school closer to us and probably ride the bus. Hannah doesn't want to ride the bus but she says she will, she says she doesn't want to have to keep her sisters in check. lol God I love her!! Our last day as city folks is December 10th and then we become country bumpkins. I was born and raised a country bumpkin so this is not new to me, Steve on the other hand is a total city boy but he has been wanting out of the city for some time now. Just to have some peace and quiet. Moving this close to Christmas is going to suck but we will be ok. We will make do. Now the packing begins.. fun! Anyone who wants to help pack come on over.. I will supply the food and drinks.. lol lol

Finally good news!!

Wordless Wednesday...

2011-11-09T12:49:00.000-08:00

I've learned..

2011-11-08T19:48:00.000-08:00

*I’velearned…That when you’re in love, it shows.

*I’velearned…That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.

*I’ve learned…That having a child fallasleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

*I’ve learned…That being kind is moreimportant than being right.

*I’ve learned…That you should never say noto a gift from a child.

*I’velearned…That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength tohelp him in some other way.

*I’velearned…That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needsa friend to act goofy with.

*I’ve learned…That sometimes all a personneeds is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

*I’velearned…That simple walks with my father on summer nights whenI was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

*I’velearned…That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to theend, the faster it goes.

*I’ve learned…That we should be glad Goddoesn’t give us everything we ask for.

*I’velearned…That money doesn’t buy class.

*I’velearned…That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

*I’velearned…That under everyone’s hard shell there is someone who wants to beappreciated and loved.

*I’velearned…That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

*I’velearned…That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

*I’ve learned…That when you plan to geteven with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

*I’ve learned…That love, not time, healsall wounds.

*I’ve learned…That everyone you meetdeserves to be greeted with a smile.

*I’velearned…That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feelingtheir breath on your cheeks.

*I’ve learned…That no one is perfect untilyou fall in love with them.

*I’velearned…That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

*I’ve learned…That opportunities are neverlost; someone will take the ones you miss.

*I’ve learned…That when you harborbitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

*I’ve learned…That one should keep hiswords both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

*I’ve learned…That a smile is aninexpensive way to improve your looks.

*I’ve learned…That I can’t choose how Ifeel, but I can choose what I do about it.

*I’velearned…That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all thehappiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

*I’ve learned …That it is best to giveadvice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a lifethreatening situation.

*I’ve learned…That the less time I have towork with, the more things I get done.

Zombie family

2011-11-08T11:24:00.000-08:00

I found this cool app on my phone that turns us into zombies.. it's really cool.

Family is everything...

2011-11-08T00:45:00.000-08:00

On Saturday November 5th, 2011 I finally got to meet Steve's dad. Since the day I met Steve him and his dad had some disagreements and were not talking. They have recently resolved their problems and I am very happy for Steve that he is talking to his dad again. I know this has bothered him a lot and I very happy I finally got the chance to meet him. It was a great visit and I look forward to getting to know him more. In the three years we have been together I have never met his dad only heard about him, I feel like another chapter has been closed and we are getting more and more complete. I really wish his mom was still around from what I hear from Steve she was an amazing woman. As I get older I realize more and more how much family really means.. family is everything to me and I love my family.

I plan to keep my family close to my heart forever!! :)

The day I married ...

2011-11-05T22:41:00.000-07:00

On November 1st, 2011 I married my best friend, my lover of 3 years. It seemed like forever for the day to arrive. I woke up on Tuesday morning and had a meeting with a good friend of mine to get our nails and hair done. My nerves were getting the best of me. My friend of many years Sara and I went to the salon and started getting pampered and ready for my BIG day, I started reminiscing and telling Sara all about how and when he proposed .. He took me to a Rascal Flats concert front row seats YEAH! I was so excited I had never been to a concert with front row seats. Half way through the concert Rascal Flats lead singer comes out onto stage and says they have a special message they want to share on their big screens and on the screens in his own handwriting it read "Judi will you marry me? Love your fragile man. I couldn't believe my eyes, I just started crying, The lead singer handed the microphone down to Steve and he asked me again as he got down on his knees and pulled out a beautiful yet simple diamond ring and I said yes, YES! Then Rascal Flats says this song is dedicated to Steve and Judi, congrats on your engagement. And they sang "God Bless The Broken Road." I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling. After the song was over the lead singer of the band says we have one more surprise, Steve wanted to share this special moment with your family and on the screen was my mom, and sisters.. I just started crying. I couldn't believe it. Sara was all smiles too as I finished the story, she said you have a great man you are marrying today. My girls also got there hair done up all pretty.. they were not in the wedding but they got to be in nice dresses and got their nails and hair done.

After we were all dolled up and ready for my big day Sara and I headed to the beach, I have always dreamed of getting married on the beach .. barefoot. We got married in Morro Bay, Ca on the beautiful sandy beach.. in a white wedding gown that hung off my shoulders and was fitted all the way down to my knees then flowed out with a gorgeous long train. My hair was done mostly up with beautiful curls falling on my freckly shoulders. My one and only maid of honor wore a beautiful teal and brown gown that matched the best mans shirt and slacks. The warm sand between my bare feet was so nice it almost took away all my nerves. My bouquet was just beautiful, had a mixture of flowers. Bright and beautiful flowers. The groom looked fantastic, he was wearing black slacks and a white button up with a teal tie to match the party., of course we were all barefoot. My Dad looked sharp in his khaki slacks and Hawaiin shirt. As he walked me down the aisle my eyes locked on my soon to be husband and I had to fight back tears, my Dad handed my hand over to my soon to be husband and kissed my cheek. Steve lips the words, you look absolutely beautiful. I smile and lip back "thank you:" We had our own vows, I only remember part of them "I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard."
... I pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride.

And we walked away hand in hand as a married couple...

IT WAS ONLY JUST A DREAM!!! A very vivid dream at that..... wow!

A little change...

2011-11-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

I think, lol I have added a link on my blogger to my Project 365-A question a day... I thought it would be much easier than mixing all those days and posts with my personal blog. So I hope you will all continue to follow my project 365. :) The link is on my main page upper left hand corner ..

Self Esteem

2011-11-03T15:46:00.000-07:00

I have always struggled with self esteem issues, and this article I stumbled upon is so true and me to a tee almost. It sucks being self conscience and having self esteem issues, This is constantly something I try and work on.. I hope you enjoy the article...

When I refer to low self-esteem...I am not talking about just another whimsical moment when one feels a little bit out of sorts or a typical bad hair day...I am referring to a persons mind feeling like it is caught up in such a whirlwind of self doubt that no matter how many times they try to grab hold of something to stop this rollercoaster of self-doubt...they instantly lose their grip. They cannot comprehend the importance of loving thyself first or unconditional self-love.

Guys, I am sure some, maybe even many of you can relate to the fact that it is very frustrating to try and deal with a woman that feels less than, like she is a nobody or that she will never be enough for you. Her main focus is totally on your love and acceptance other than her own!
No matter what you say or do to encourage her, you feel like your words have fallen upon deaf ears. You try very hard to show that you are very interested soley in her and that she is exactly who you desire and still, she somehow manages to interpret it the wrong way. You end up dealing with serious jealousy issues over things that only she can see and you yourself end up beginning to feel like you have failed her in some way.

Well, if you think it is frustrating for you, imagine what she is dealing with every second she breathes. Having low self-esteem is a very serious issue...........................

She wakes up with it, she goes throughout her entire day with it, she even goes to sleep at night with it.
It does not take a break or wait to be invited in.
If she cannot identify with it, she will become very skeptical, non-trusting, defensive and aggressive towards everyone who tries to help.
It tears at and feeds on her every attempt to feel good about who she is and her own ability to accept herself. It meets her at every corner and changes it direction to confuse her even more. It truly is a mind game of the worst kind.

When a woman suffers from a low self-esteem, it is similar to an addiction which can only be satisfied with a continuous flow of reassurance that she is acceptable and worthy to you. She will do anything she can to feel this acceptance from you, even if it goes against her morals and standards. It is demeaning her subconsciously while you are both engaged in sexual enjoyment to a point that she will eventually turn away from it.
That and her desperate need of acceptance will eventually begin to drain you as her partner and you will begin to find any reason to not be around her...hence the relationship begins to fail.

This entrapped feeling does not only affect the relationships at home, it also follows her into her work place, where she is being suffocated and preoccupied with this desperate need to hide from everyone.

Think about the importance of having a high self-esteem in ones work place. Ones self-esteem needs to be high so that their confidence can guide them through actions such as: making important decisions, dealings with opposite sex bosses, good old office politics, other staff trying to gain on your efforts, dealing with clients or customers, dealing with criticism regarding your work, and even just making friends.

How does a person get imprisoned by a low self-esteem?
Initially it has been proven that the seed is sown at some point in ones life. As a child...It can be from verbal or physical abuse, witnessing a parent or a sibling being tormented, bullied and or humiliated continuously. As an adult...Being rejected or emotionally abused by a partner. All of these experiences are traumatic and will damage if not totally crush ones ability to to have unconditional self-love which in turn imprisons them in a pit of low self-esteem.

What can you do to help your partner?
It is without a doubt your partners responsibility to identify with the negative issues that have caused her loss of self-love.
This does not mean that you cannot support her and understand yourself that it is not an attack against you personally.
You can be patient and understanding when she is stuck in this horrible place and her only way of out might be through you.
Talking softly and non-accusing is the only way to help a person find their way out of the darkness.
You can help her rebuild her self-esteem by bringing out her values and goodness that she is having trouble seeing.
It is also very important not to belittle or underestimate the seriousness of low self-esteem.
A person imprisoned in this is not there voluntarily and more than not are unaware of it until it finally comes to the forefront and they can begin to identify with it.
Do not over emphasize her abilities or over compliment as they will not be as effective. Choose your timing well.

What can she do to help herself?
It is vital that she becomes able to identify with the negative thoughts that are in control of her mind.
These thoughts are what keep her down and they will gain more strength each time she allows them to take over.
She must commit to taking control of her thoughts in order to actually be successful at changing them.
She must learn to question her thoughts: eg..will this change my life or hurt me in any way?
She can see a professional ....they can be of some help in guiding her in bringing forth a lot of hidden trauma which will in turn help her to identify with a lot of the negative thoughts that have her trapped.
She can get involved in any type of self-satisfying project...starting small and eventually challenging herself with bigger ones as her self-esteem begins to strengthen.
She must also know that this is not a quick fix issue. It will take time and consistent effort in taking control of each and every thought she has until her mind subconscious chooses the positive ones.

In a relationship, when one partner is suffering, both partners are indeed suffering. What one person brings to a relationship affects the other partner. Understand without any room to argue...it is vital that you take care of who you are before you decide to commit to sharing a life with another person. If you are in a relationship and your partner suffers seriously from any type of issue...being their partner does demand a certain amount of loyalty and even sacrifice to stand by them and support them in any way. Remember they are who you chose to share your life with through better or worse!

Bishops Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-28T14:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took the girls out to Bishops Pumpkin Patch, we go every year and have a blast just the 4 of us normally. The girls love it out there and so do I, great photo opps. :) We rode the train, fed the animals, and picked out a perfect pumpkin....an all white one this year. Something a little different.

Here are a few photos:

Emily's 8th birthday..

2011-10-27T00:16:00.000-07:00

Emily turned 8 on October 15th, 2011, hard to believe. I can remember like it was yesterday when she was born down to every detail.. She is a sassy, spunky, full of energy and then some child but I wouldn't want her any other way, means she is a healthy "normal" child lol.

Emily requested to have a very small get together with her family and best friend Lena. So we did just that. Lena came over and the girls (all 5 of them-Hannah, Emily, Natalie, Lena & Genna) and well the dogs went crazy too. haha We had pizza, cake and ice cream and the girls played house, dressup, board games, etc. until Lena's mom came and got her at 7pm. Emily was worn down by then but gave me a HUGE hug and said "I had the bestest birthday ever mommy, thank you" That made me a very happy mommy :)

Here are a few pictures-

The End....

Parent/teacher conference

2011-10-07T19:48:00.001-07:00

Today we had Hannahs parent/teacher conference. This was the first time we met her teacher also. Hannah keeps saying her teacher is strict. Lol The meeting went really well and Hannah is progressing well and at her own pace still. Her teacher said she does much much better in math than reading. She also said Hannah has great classroom behavior and is kind to all the other kids.

Today Hannah won this award at school for getting a high score on her math test. She scored a 97% all by herself. She was proud.

Way to go Hannah...keep up the great work!!!

Little of this and a little of that...

2011-10-04T17:42:00.001-07:00

Been a little while since I have posted.. just kinda got busy and have had appointment after appointment. Between doctor appt for me and the girls, and court dates. Just been busy. But today starts our first day of vacation. Whoo hoo. We really aren't going anywhere.. but just being away from work is a vacation. Lol

We have a new baby puppy and she is sooo creaking cute. She is a black Pug. We are done with fur babies.. well all babies for that matter. She is only 9 weeks old..

I can't believe its almost Halloween.. girls are excited. Not sure what they are going to be for halloween. I have to work as usual but hoping to maybe do halloween early. Like we normally do.

Well I don't have much more to post.. just relaxing and loving the rainy weather.

TTFN

Me and my boy..

2011-09-14T22:16:00.001-07:00

I really love this boy.. he is like a kid to me with 4 legs. Lol

Me and my boy Frank

Not a good week..

2011-09-14T17:30:00.001-07:00

I am just going to say that... I finally am starting to feel better after having a nasty cold the last week. It started last Wednesday night before bed, I felt really stuffy and figured it was allergies. When I woke up on Thursday morning I felt horrible like a big semi-truck had ran me over. I toughed it out and worked all week even though I felt like my head was going to explode. Its a good thing I have a wonderful boyfriend who takes really good care of me, on Sunday he got off work early because he was working the Hall & Oats concert and he knew I had to stay at work and finish my shift and I was miserable, so he went to CVS and bought me a humidifier and the vaporizor to go in it to help me breathe better and he also bought me shower tablets that help too with the steam. He is the best and takes such great care of me. I love him. I feel so much better today thank god.. I knew it was only a matter of time before I got sick since I haven't been around all the money and germs in like 6 months. Oh well it will happen, and I know I can count on my awesome boyfriend to take good care of me.

This was also the first week of the girls new schedule with their father, he isn't even worth calling a dad. We go to mediation and he gets the days he wants because he "says" his schedule is changed. So he wants them twice a month overnight on a Tues after school until Wednesday and will take them to school on Wednesday morning. Well he puts down that he wants them at 4pm on those Tues instead of picking them up from school, because picking his gf kids up from school is more important and they get out at the same time.. its ridiculous. Last night was the girls first overnight on the new schedule and I am NOT liking it, for many reasins. He didn't check to make sure that their homework was correct, they went to bed super late and are really cranky today, I could go on and on.. but you get the picture. These are also things that need to be addressed AGAIN in court before the judge on our upcoming court date.

Well it is getting close to dinner time... ttfn

Change ...

2011-09-07T23:37:00.001-07:00

Is something that some people will never be able to do. Wether it be for their own good or for the good of their own innocent children. It never ceases to amaze me that he can be so damn immature and selfish.

You know my Dad asks me all the time why I married such an ignorant person and I honestly don't have an answer.. looking back now I wish I knew then what I know now. I wouldn't have given him the time of day.

My girls deserve so much better, they deserve a father that is going to be around and love them forever and take them on his time and want to be with them.. not a father that is always making excuses to get them home early and to not have them on his scheduled times. This really affects them.. especially Hannah who knows what is going on.

I know one day they will look back and see how much effort I put into trying to get their father to take them and be with them.. normally it is the other way around and the mother isn't wanting the father around the kids. I really don't either but I see how much they want to spend time with him and I try to make that happen and they can see that and one day will be very thankful for that.

Even after an hour in mediation he got the visitation days and times HE wanted and he still can't call text or come get his kids on the days he chose. What a freaking loser. God he makes me so angry for hurting my girls.

One day... The time will come... when the girls will see right through him. One day!!

Vacation time...

2011-09-04T02:04:00.000-07:00

Can't wait, we are on the countdown till our vacation in October. We will have a week off of work and we are going to go have a grrreat time with the family. :) Let the countdown begin.. whoo hoo

Happy Anniversary

2011-09-04T01:57:00.000-07:00

1095 days = 3 years = love .. Steve and I have been together 3 years now. It seems like just yesterday that he stole my heart. :) I love this man more and more each day. We have been through a lot but it has only brought us closer together. Our love for each other is very strong ... I look forward to many many more years together and watching our kids grow up... Stephen I love you to the moon and back..

Natalie lost another tooth

2011-09-02T14:16:00.001-07:00

She came home from school on her first day of 2nd grade missing her front tooth and her other one is wiggly. She was excited. Tooth fairy time :)

Girls first day of school..

2011-08-30T16:17:00.000-07:00

The girls had a great first day of school. Hannah said her teacher is very strict but she likes her, Emily has the teacher she wanted and she is happy, Natalie has Mr. Bryant, he has been blessed to have all three girls now. lol He is a awesome teacher and I am glad all three girls have got to be in his class. I have a great feeling this school year will be a good year for the girls. :)

Back on track ..

2011-08-28T20:09:00.001-07:00

Things at home have gotten back on track after the train rail fire last week. Girls are scheduled to start school tomorrow and I am ready for that. I think they are too. I lost a lot of sleep the two days we were evacuated and I am still trying to catch up on my sleep.

I am looking forward to the school year for the girls and all the events they have .. will be fun. I hope I am able to attend more this year..

Well be on the lookout for photos of the girls first day. :)

Frightening disaster..

2011-08-24T23:03:00.001-07:00

I woke up about 1130 am Tuesday morning and for some reason turned on Steve's radio. Normally I don't turn it on. As soon as I turned it on I heard traffic for a fire .. and a command post being setup. I figured it was just a vegetation fire. As I listened more I realized that this was not just a grass fire that this was serious, I go wake Steve up and tell him that something serious is going on down the road. So we get dressed and go see what is going on.

At about noon no roads were closed and we went down hwy 65 and sat about a mile down the road and I took some pictures of this huge rail car full of propane on fire at a propane distribution plant. Attached to it was three other full rail cars full of propane. This is when we realized that this might get ugly. We continued to watch and monitor the radio. About an hour later CHP pulls up and tells us we have to go cause they are shutting the hwy down. So we left and had lunch. Just as we are leaving lunch Steve gets a call from q friend that has a firefighter friend who said to get your stuff and get out. So we went home. Got our dogs and a few important things and we left. Good thing cause they mandatory evacuated us about 30 minutes later. So we spent the rest of the day doing what we planned and that was finishing the girls school shopping and get their hair cut.

By this time it is about 5 pm and things have worsened and they have closed off 65 in every direction so we made our way to my dads house to let the dogs out of the car for awhile. We found a room about 8 pm and got settled in and here we are. Still waiting to see what happens and when we get to go home. We weren't able to stay at the shelters due to having animals.

This has been rough. A lot of emotions have ran through me. And it sure has been scary and fruarrating. Not knowing when we can go home. I am hopeful that things are looking good, this crew from Texas and our firefighters have done a wonderful job keeping this tanker from blowing up and creating a huge disaster and keeping us from losing our home, we are literally less than 1/4 of a mile away.

So a huge thanks to all the workers out their risking their lives to save my home. <3

Almost school time

2011-08-21T20:51:00.001-07:00

My girls start school soon... Wednesday to be exact. They are ready.. they say they are bored with summer and want to see their friends. I am ready for school to start as well but also kinda not because with school comes homework and struggling to get them to do it when they get home and not fight. It was a battle last year sometimes but we managed.

Hard to believe I will have a 4th, 3rd, and 2nd grader. Time is flying. They are growing up so fast and Hannah and Emily are so into "fashion" lol I am seriously broke from school shopping. It's a good thing that I am back on the floor getting tips again. I will post pics soon of them on their first day.

TTFN

My steps today...

2011-08-19T01:44:00.001-07:00

Today my steps were more than I thought they would be, considering I was in High Limit and I am limited on where I can walk. So I just walked in a bunch of circles so I could get more steps in.

Total amount of steps today at work were.: 17,380

Miles: 5.49

Calories burnt: 524

Tomorrow is Friday and I hope I wont be in high limit and i can do better than this.

Family fun day out

2011-08-18T02:14:00.000-07:00

Today we went to the Yolo County Fair and had a great time. I have only been one other time. I thought what the heck, it is free to get in and the kids would LOVE it so we went. Today was the first day they opened and it didnt open till 6pm so we headed over about 5pm and the girls were SUPER excited. They got to ride the rides and get goodies from the vendors and all that fun stuff.. their favorite ride was the same as mine when I was a kid, it is now called "Surfs Up" but when I was a kid it was called "Tilt a Whirl" the girls went on that about three times and wanted to go more but they ran out of tickets.

After the rides we went and ate some dinner, Steve and I had a wonderful Steve sandwich and the girls had corn on the cobb with a corn dog and some curly fries. SO Yummy!!

After dinner we walked around some more and just had a great time. We finished the night off with some churros and cotton candy. :)

Many many steps..

2011-08-15T03:12:00.001-07:00

Today for the first time I wore my pedometer to work my whole shift, except for when I went on break. The 8 hours I was there I walked 21,508 steps which equals out to be a little over 8 miles. Now Sundays are no where near as busy as Friday and Saturday nights so I can only imagine how many steps (miles) I walk on those days. I am going to wear it all week and see if I can always beat the amount of steps every day. Give myself a goal. :)

After work Steve and I also went to the gym and I rode the bike for 45 mins and it was 6 miles. I definitely got my exercise today. Hopefully I will start losing weight ..

TTFN

Migraine..still looking for a remedy

2011-08-12T12:26:00.001-07:00

I have suffered from migraines for YEARS and YEARS and well I am willing to try anything at this point to keep from getting them ever or maybe once in a blue moon. Steve did some research online in some migraine forums and found that a lot of people that suffer from migraines have got relief from this herbal pill called "feverfew" so what the heck I am more than willing to give it a try and see if it works for me because I am done with being in pain from migraines. I am done going to the ER for injections and spending hours there just for relief. So I am going to give this feverfew a try. Thanks to my honey for picking it up today for me.

Mmmm my girls all new favorite..

2011-08-11T14:46:00.001-07:00

My girls kept seeing this on a commercial and wanted to try it. So I bought a small jar and made them a Nutella sandwich. They loved it.. eh wait.. (Emily was not to fond of it) she is not much of a chocolate fan. But Natalie and Hannah LOVE it and want it almost everyday for lunch. :) its not the healthiest thing but its something different.. I really don't care for it either. So looks like Nutella will be on our grocery list from now on.

BBQ'in with family

2011-08-10T22:08:00.001-07:00

Today we got up ran to yakety yak to get screen protectors on our new phones and try to find a case for Steves phone. Then we went to winco for some groceries for our BBQ tonight with my dad and step mom. We got some tri-tip, potatoes, corn, garlic bread, salad and watermelon. My dad made a yummy lemon merange pie for dessert..

While we were BBQ'in and hanging out the girls were swimming in their pool and were having a blast. These are the days I live for. Couldn't be any more perfect. :) The dogs were enjoying the sun and running in the back yard. Today was a perfect day.

Back to the grind tomorrow.. blah.

My child turned into a MONSTER!!

2011-08-09T16:39:00.001-07:00

MONSTER child Emily. :)

Amazing

2011-08-08T16:16:00.001-07:00

Just a little update. I am finally off light duty and able to make tips again .. yay! I am really happy about this.

Things have been on the stressful side lately with some things going on. Have three court dates coming up and I know they will be in my favor.

You win some you lose some is my motto lately. I had a so called friend walk out of my life AGAIN. And well I guess this person just wasn't the friend I thought she was because friends don't just walk out like that. I am not sure we ever had a friendship to begin with.

Next month Steve and I will be celebrating out 3 year anniversary.. we are going to go out of town and get lost for a few days :)

Girls start school soon. They are so ready and well so am I. I will have a 4th, 3rd, and 2nd grader. Wow time flies.

Well time to take the girls out to the pool. They are bored and I need some sun. TTFN

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss

2011-03-02T20:57:00.000-08:00

My girls LOVE Dr. Seuss books. And Mommy does too, I love his quotes too. Here is one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Seuss....

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose. -Dr. Seuss

Here is a favorite photo of Emily reading a Dr. Seuss book. :)

Snow day = mental health day...

2010-11-30T21:57:00.000-08:00

Steve and I went to Tahoe on Tuesday and spent the day there, it was nice but REALLY cold. We had to put chains on the pathfinder to get over the hill. That was an adventure. The girls were with their dad for Thanksgiving so we took advantage of having a rare moment .. time alone just the two of us. It seems pretty rare lately. We went and did a little bit of gambling at Harveys and Harrahs then had a yummy dinner at the cafe at Harrahs... then we headed home. It was dark and freeeezing cold on the way home but we still had to keep the chains on. I love the snow but would never want to live in it. lol

Thanksgiving.. has come and gone..

2010-11-30T21:50:00.000-08:00

I still find it hard to beleive it is almost Decemeber, like reallly close to December. Seems like it was just Halloween, but now Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is fastly approaching. I love the holidays but they are really stressful. :/

Thanksgiving we spent out at my Dad and stepmoms on Wednesday cause Steve and I both had to work on Thursday. We had all 6 kids and had a good dinner out at my Dad and stepmoms house. They kids played and enjoyed each other.

Thanksgiving day I spent with just the girls. Steve had to work... then we both had to work in the evening.

Happy Anniversary..

2010-09-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today I fell in love with him, and today I am still madly in love with him. Happy 2 year Anniversary Stephen! I love you to the moon and back. Here is to many, many more years to come.

These are the pretty flowers my honey got me for our anniversary !! :)

School is officially out...

2010-06-04T21:56:00.000-07:00

School is out for my kids. I am pretty excited about that. Means that we can go out of town on our days off and do fun things on the two days off we get as a family when we are not working. Go for road trips and just have BBQs with friends and hang out.

I am so proud of my girls this year they have done soooo well in school. Hannah is making progress in reading but is still behind for her age, but she is doing better. Hannah has really started to read better and her math is excellent. I am so proud of her. Emily is off the charts, she is excelling and then some. She is at a almost 3rd grade level right now and she will be entering 2nd grade. She loves to read and write. Natalie is doing excellent too. For only being 4 1/2 years old when she started kindergarden she is also a little advanced for her age. Her teacher said she is more than ready for 1st grade and I was so happy to hear that, because I was a little concerned she wouldnt be ready because she was young. But she sure proved me wrong. :)

We have a new family member and we all love him to death. He is a 3 year old Pug named Frank. He is so cute and Tizdale is the only one who isnt to fond of him BUT he is getting better with him. They are starting to play together and lay together. They are sooo cute. We take them for walks and they are warming up to each other. The kids just LOVE him. And of course they still love Tizdale. lol

Steve and I are getting ready for all the OT we are going to be getting at work for the grand opening of the hotel at the casino. It is going to be crazy with all the stuff they have going on and the concerts. Steve for sure will have more OT than me. (I think) I am excited cause I want to save the money for something nice. Maybe a nice vacation or something. I dont know.

Well I am going to go relax, I am a little stressed tonight. Have someone I love on my mind and I am worried about him. He is sick right now and in the hospital and I hope he gets well soon. So I am going to go cuddle with my honey.

Been MIA..

2010-05-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

Just been super busy with the kids and almost the end of the school year, been busy with work. Going from 24 hours a week to 40 hours a week is a big change and doesn't leave much time for blogging or even logging onto the computer. Some days I don't even log on or even turn my computer on. I have so much to do lately.

I had my EEG on Tues and I am not sure of the results yet. My doctor will notify me when he has the results. So hopefully soon. Got a letter from DMV for a re-evaluation in June, well at the end of June. I hope to have my license back soon. It sucks not being able to drive :(

Steve and I just recently purchased mountain bikes. I LOVE going out for rides with him. We go out quite a bit, when we can. We are going to get the kids out with us too. I want to get a co-pilot for Emily and possibly Natalie too so that they can get familiar with the roads and the rules of the roads before they are on their own bikes. Hannah does ok, but the other two need to be on a co-pilot bike or maybe a bike buggy to pull behind the bike for Natalie. Then we can go when we have the girls too for rides. :) Cause I LOVE going out for rides.

Steve got his schedule changed and we now have the same days off again. Nice to actually have a little time with him. Our schedule before was working fine but could get rather stressful at times. I just love the fact that we can sit down and have dinner together at our home again. Haven't been able to do that in months.

Well I am off to finish getting ready for work. It is my Monday. YUCK!! Well it is OUR Monday! LOL I wanted to share some photos of our bike riding trips. So here are some photos. These are all taken off our cell phones :)

Post It Note Tuesday

2010-05-04T16:02:00.000-07:00

Good news... bad news!

2010-04-28T20:19:00.000-07:00

I had my neurology appointment today and the good news is my MRI was normal. I am really happy about that. Although now I am still left with no answers on what is going on with my migraines. I want my drivers license back. I want my life back to normal. I have Steve's help and he has been really helpful and good about getting the girls to and from school and helping me get to and from work, but this man is the busiest man I know and I just want to be able to do things for myself again. It is extremely stressful to try and make sure I have rides to work on the days he is off and has an event and to make sure the girls are taken care of. My Dad and Stepmom are extremely helpful too and I am soooo thankful for them as well.

Next step is to have an EEG done and from there I don't know what will happen. They are trying to rule out seizures. I sent an email to my dr asking about my license and he says Ca state law is my license be suspended for 3 months. So that is what has to be done. :( I really hope these 3 months go by fast. It has only been three weeks and my Dad called DMV and they have not received the letter from my Dr yet so my 3 months has not started yet :( Grrrrrrrrrrr But I filled the paperwork out myself and mailed it in to speed up the process.

So hopefully soon this will all be over and I can go on with my normal life and put this chaotic life behind me. lol

Probably the hardest 3 months of my life

2010-04-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

I will start from the beginning so you can understand why things are the way they are. I have a history of migraines and tension headaches, recently in the last few months they have been getting more intense in pain and causing me to feel dizzy and faint. The first week of April I developed what I thought was a migraine and I just couldnt get rid of it so I went to the ER after throwing up for 2 days straight and I was so miserable. I went to Kaiser and got injections and they didnt touch the pain, the nurse said to go home and sleep it off. I was on my normal day off of work. So I went home and slept. Woke up still feeling awful. My head pounding and feeling sick to my stomache. Normally I can get rid of them with the injections and I havent had a migraine in almost a year in a half. The next morning I woke up and just couldnt take it anymore so I asked Steve to take me to Sutter Roseville this time. So once at Sutter they did there protocol for migraines, which is an IV with fluids and IV meds. I started feeling better and my headache eased up and I left there feeling pretty good, just weak. Although I had to work. So I went to work that night. BAD idea. Not even 3 hours into my shift my head started pounding again and my nausea was back. I couldnt leave work because if we leave it counts as an attendance write up and I was already on a verbal and didnt want to go to a final. So I toughed it out but the lights, smoke and noise was just k illing me. I made it through the night. Came home and went to bed and had a rough night trying to sleep.

The next morning I called my Dad and asked if he could take the girls so Steve could once again take me to the ER because I couldnt stop throwing up again and my head pain was horrible. So he said that was fine. And off to Sutter once again we went. UGH! Once at Sutter we got to the back and the Dr said that since the migraine protocol didnt work then it probably wasnt a migraine headache that it was a tension headache and he would prescribe me a med for it and a med for the nausea and that I couldnt go to work because it was a narcotic and would affect my judgement and handling money wouldnt be good. Great! He said he would write me a note. Well this place I call a job, doesnt accept Dr. notes we still get written up. Nice huh?!? So I agreed at this point I didnt care I was so done being in pain and being at the ER. I left there and got my meds. The girls stayed at my dads and I took that med and was out for 10 hours straight, woke up with no headache. Although Steve came home at midnight to find me passed out in the hallway and had a hard time waking me up. I do remember getting up to go to the bathroom but dont know how long I was there. I think it was a combo of the narcotic and me feeling dizzy.

So I did get in trouble at work and went to a written. :( Hey thats life, I felt better and was able to function and thats all I cared about at that point. I just recently went full time and have been waiting on my benefits so I could go to the Dr for my migraines again. In the meantime I was put on this new narcotic and imitrex by the ER Dr and only took it when needed. I was at work on last Friday and developed yet again another migraine and left the floor to get sick and was in the bathroom and stood up too fast after getting sick and felt dizzy and faint and fe;l forward and hit my cheek on the toilet paper roll in the stall. I had a huge bruise and my boss made an EMT look at me and they sent me home. I didnt ask to go home because I knew I would be written up and put on a final and I didnt want that. So I came home and took one of my narcotic pills and went to bed and got rid of my migraine and felt much better on Saturday and went to work Saturday and Sunday. On Monday I was on the floor for almost 2 hours when I get a call to go to HR, so I did thinking it was about my benefits, Nope wrong. HR told me I needed to go home and not come back until I get a Dr note saying that I am able to work to my fullest potential on the new meds I was taking. Yea really? They think that is why I fell in the bathroom on Friday. Ok then why did they let me work Saturday and Sunday then? This place is a joke. UGH! Oh well! So I left and was going on my days off (Tues and Weds) So I got up Tues morning and went to the ER and got a note from a Dr releasing me saying the meds were fine. Cause I only take the narcotic at night time. So I take the note directly to HR and they release me back to work. While I am there my big head boss stops me in the hall and I ask her if I was also going to get written up for being sent home for HR and she says no but you are being written up for being sent home on Friday. That is bull crap cause I didnt ask to go home my shift manager said I couldnt work under the condition I was in. So I am fighting that write up. Grrrrr

I get my benefits and they are active now as of April 1st so I go to the Dr this friday and I got some really bad news. I wanted to express to him that my migraines are a problem and I wanted to also have him fill out fmla paperwork so I am protected at work when I call off for a migraine and I wont be written up because I have a chronic medical condition (migraines) So he had no problem filling out the paperwork. I also expressed to him that I might need to see a neurologist or headache specialist to get to the bottom of these headaches since I have had them all my life with no relief. He asked if I have had any passing out spells and I told him yes and Steve explained what happened and as well as what happened at work. Well the bad news is by law he has to report to DMV that I have passing out spells and now I have lost my drivers license for 3 months minimum and I cant drive. :( I am soooo upset. I now have to depend on everyone else to get me to work, to take my girls to and from school. I know it doesnt sound that bad, but I am a very very independent woman and like to do things for myself and this has really really hit me hard. Driving is my outlet. I like to sometimes just get in my car with my camera and go take photos, I cant do that now. I am now stuck in the house unless I call someone for a ride. :( I dont know if I can take this. The next 3 months will be challenge that is for sure. I cant just get in the car and go to the grocery store when I run out of something. UGH! I have been crying all weekend and I am so down. :( So emotional. I know that this might be for the best so I dont harm my kids or some innocent person if I pass out while driving but this is hard to take in. I would never want to harm my kids or someone else and I know that the Dr is by law doing what he has to do. BUT I just hate this. :( But on a good note I am getting a MRI and I am being referred to a neurologist and will get to the bottom of what is going on with these darn migraines. Hopefully!

So that is my bad news. I am just so darn upset. I am trying to stay busy but there is only so much I can do in this darn house. :(

Bad news!

2010-04-17T13:46:00.000-07:00

Received bad news, when I am ready to talk about it or blog about it, I will fill you in. Right now I am just trying to soak it in myself. I am really upset about it and it sure has made me down and out. I will gather my thoughts and put a blog together soon to fill you in. :(

Tuesdays-Tree photo fun

2010-04-14T16:40:00.000-07:00

"One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure."

William Feather

B&W Wednesdays

2010-04-07T23:22:00.000-07:00

I got this idea from another blogger, I love it! So I wanted to give it a try. So here is my B&W Wednesday! Natalie outside playing with her bear, she was deep in thought.

Tuesdays- Tree photo fun

2010-04-07T23:15:00.000-07:00

So lately I have been really interested in these HUGE oak trees and some other trees that are blooming here in the area, so I decided that Tuesdays are going to be Tree photo fun day. Every Tuesday I will post a different photo of a tree. I love old oak trees! I have slacked BIG time on my 365 project, just hadnt had the time with going full time and the kiddos school work. BUT good news is I am getting caught up on that project too. :) So here is todays Tuesday Tree fun, a day late I know! lol

One step closer...

2010-04-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

Will this EVER end?!? UGH! Spent my day off down at the courthouse filing my judgement and getting the minute order printed up so I can be free of that dead weight. hehe It has been almost two years since I have first filed for a divorce. Reason why it has/is taking so long is because Jason has failed to respond to ANY of the papers I served him with. So our divorce went into a default and we had to go to a default hearing. Which when I got the hearing set up, they were booked out for almost 4 months. This process has taken forever, I am on the downhill now, I see an end in sight. Once I get the judgement back, the final paperwork typed up from the court I have to have it served on Jason and then I have to have the proof of service filed in the courts and I am a free woman. So about another 4-6 weeks they said it will be finalized. Grrrrrr this has been crazy. But so worth it. Found out recently some really serious bad dirt on him and the people he is living with, needless to say my girls WILL not be going over near that area at all and he is threatening to take me to court. Well go ahead, but you wont win this battle, thanks to my Dad and his private investigator skills I found out stuff I am glad I found out, because my girls wont be around that kind of environment. And I believe the court will side with me when it comes to this kind of criminal behavior and background. So until he can grow up and be a man and get his OWN place to live, he is NOT getting the girls overnight. Enough said!!!!

I will be so glad when this court crap is over, But I guess as long as the girls are minors I shouldn't expect it to be over. UGH!

Girls spring school photos..

2010-04-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

Got my girls spring school photos, they turned out really cute. Although Natalie had a brain fart and forgot to take her sweater off, eh oh well it still turned out really cute. :) Natalie had on a similar shirt like Emily and Hannah, but she decided to wear her sweater instead. lol lol ;)

Easter

2010-04-06T22:06:00.000-07:00

Easter this year was good. I had to work unfortunately :( But I went in at 4:30 so I got to spend the early afternoon with the family. Steve, his boys, the girls and I went out to my Dads and stepmoms to have an egg hunt for the kiddos, they love that. My Stepmom hid over 150 eggs with money, candy and goodies in them. Only downfall to Easter day was it was soooooo freaking cold and windy but it sure did not stop the kiddos from having a good time. So all in all it was a great day, Just wish I could have spent the evening with my family instead of working. But eh duty calls. Hope everyone else had a great Easter day as well. Here are a few photos from Easter.

Happy 9th Birthday Hannah

2010-04-03T18:06:00.000-07:00

Happy 9th birthday sweet girl. I remember the day I had you like it was yesterday. Although it was a tough time in my life due to my health it was also the happiest time in my life. I was a mommy for the very first time to the sweetest most beautiful little girl.

It all started on April 2nd when I went in to my routine Dr. appt and my blood pressure was extremely elevated and I had protein in my urine and signs of toxemia. So I was sent home to prepare myself to be induced first thing the next morning bright and early. I was already 3 days past my due date. So scared and anxious I left the Dr office and called your dad and my mom and sisters and let everyone know that you would be here on April 3rd. So I got everything together and our bags packed and didnt sleep a wink hardly. We got up on April 3rd and headed to the hospital to be there by 6am. Got admitted and checked in and started on pitocin. This turned out to be a LONG hard day. After laboring for hours and hours, the Dr finally came in and broke my water and much to his surprise no fluids came out. Like I had been expressing to him at each appt. I had been leaking amniotic fluid. Maybe 2 tablespoons of fluid came out and that was it, he told the nurse that he thought the babies head was covering the hole and that he would check back to see if more fluids came out. Nope nothing nada, so intervention was started and that was a tube with fluids to be put in around you so I didnt have a dry birth. I was scared. My first birth and all this was new to me, I didnt know right from wrong. I got my epidural and labored for hours. Finally after 15 hours of labor I was ready to push, you were born at 9:23 pm on April 3rd weighing 6lb 6 oz and 19 in. long. I remember them taking you from you right away and putting you on oxygen and then bringing you back. I remember asking why your hands were so dry and cracked and bleeding. The nurse told me because I had very very low amniotic fluid :( Everything was fine and we went home the next day. It wasnt until the second day home that I developed a rare form of post partum pre-eclampsia. I was rushed to the hospital with extreme edema and extremely high blood pressure. I was admitted right away and I remember the ER Dr coming in and telling me that I had to be admitted because my chest x-ray shows that I am only breathing on about 5% or less of my lungs that basically I was drowning and that is why I was having troubling breathing and being winded from walking. I broke down and cried, I asked what am I suppose to do with my brand new baby. He said that I would go back to Labor & Delivery and that the baby could come too. I was scared to death. I spent 4 days in the hospital and released on tons of meds to get better. Mommy got better fast, but it wasnt until a year later I saw my nurse (good family friend) and she said to me, I am glad to see you looking so good, you scared us all. I said yea I feel great, she said CHF is nothing to mess with. I said what is CHF and she said they never told you and I said No, whats that? She said you had Congestive Heart Failure. :( OMG that is so scary. She said on top of that you had the Post partum pre-eclampsia. But I wouldnt change it for the world, you were healthy as could be and I was so so happy and thankful for that.

I love you to the moon and back birthday girl! <3

Here is a timeline of Hannah's life... Hope you enjoy it!!

Been down -n- out.....

2010-04-02T21:48:00.000-07:00

This week and last week have been horrible, I got over my strep throat and ear infections. Was starting to feel better and BAM got this awful migraine that just wont stop. It wont go away! Just keeps holding on. Grrrrrrr So I went to the ER on Weds after throwing up all night and in so much pain I couldnt stand it anymore.. Yea well they gave me injections and sent me on my way. I left there still feeling the same. I came home and slept. Was back at the ER on Thurs because I was still throwing up and dehydrated. I got an IV and some fluids and some meds and came home, I had to work so I did the best I could. Halfway into my shift my head started pounding again, the loud music, the lights, the running around I guess my body just needed rest to get over this migraine fully but the place I work at doesnt give a shit. So I toughed it out and came home and went to bed, got up this morning and as soon as I sat up I started throwing up again and NO relief on my head, it was pounding sooo sooo bad. So off to the ER for a third time. This time I finally got some relief. Thank god! I did call off work because I was put on a med that will not allow me to function properly and the Dr said that if I was handling that much money that I should NOT go to work. So I called off and cut MY losses. :( I sometimes really hate how that place just really doesnt give two shits less about us. It really sucks that they don't care that we are at work, like I was last night so freaking miserable that I was in tears and they expect us to work, I actually went to my bosses office in tears and he said, "Can you tough it out" cause it was busy and others call in sick. I told him No that I needed to go home and his answer was I will see what I can do. UGH! If I didnt make such good money I would have been GONE LONNNNG ago. It sucks too cause I just got full time and benefits that I have been waiting over 2 years for. Oh well, good news is I am feeling better, bad news is I have to be put on a final for attendance :( Such is life, I cant help that I got sick. I am human and not a freaking robot. I am off here to go back to bed and get some more sleep. Hope everyone has a great Easter weekend.

Life....Its a four letter word too :P

2010-03-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

Things have been CRAZY around here, Crazy busy, feels like my head is spinning like a top. Phew! When it will stop. Never! But hey that is life, that four letter word! I started my full time position at work yesterday and well it sure is going to be hard spending 40 hours a week at that place BUT I have to do it for me and the girls and the benefits. That is what I keep telling myself. That is the only thing that keeps me sane enough to do it. LOL :)

Looks like I will be heading back to court. The girls father decided he wanted to take me back to court because I will not allow him to have the girls overnight. Well that is fine. He can take me to court. He is just going to be hanging himself, he is almost 3 months behind in support and he has yet to supply his half of insurance on the girls. So he is the one who will look like an idiot up there. He thinks he can get overnights when he has 8 people living in a small home and the girls don't have proper or adequate living arrangements. I wouldn't think it would happen but who knows with the court systems nowadays, so I might lose this battle BUT I am going to at least fight till I can't fight anymore and I will at least know I did what I could. This is sooo frustrating, I only want what is best for them and I don't feel comfortable with them being in that environment especially with the 15 year old brother living there and I will do my best to stand up for them and protect them. So I am just waiting for my court papers from him unless he is just talking about it and not really going to do it. Who knows? We shall see! lol

I just got over being sick, got hit hard with strep throat and double ear infections, UGH! That was awful. I was sick as sick could be. It was no fun. I went and got antibiotics and feel much better now. Thank god. I just hope the girls or Steve don't get it. Its miserable!

Well the girls are with their father today and I am worried because he wanted them overnight and I am afraid he won't bring them home, so I am trying to keep myself busy and my mind off of it, so I am going to go Easter bunny shopping now. :) Girls aren't due home till 8 pm.

Sugar 'em up and send 'em home

2010-03-23T21:40:00.000-07:00

The girls get to see their father once a week unless he cancels because he has some other plans. So he drives up here and picks them up from school and takes them to dinner and does their homework and then takes them out to a park or whatever they do. Yea well he always makes it a point to feed them as much sugar as possible. He isn't hurting me, he is hurting them. They come home and they have a REALLY hard time going to sleep and go to bed really late and have to get up and go to school in the morning and they struggle to get up in the morning and function. So I have discussed this with him and that is like talking to a brick wall. He is just stupid as they come. Grrrrrr

He took them to dinner tonight and then took them to get an ice cream and they also came home with candy that they had just finished, I literally had to peel them off the ceiling. My children very rarely get candy so they were amped up like no other. I wish he was more responsible. Its so sad! He just wants to be the "weekend dad" and give them everything they want, so he is the one who looks better to them. Well in the long run when they get older they will see what he is doing and realize that he is fake.

Then he has the nerve to ask me if he can have them for 3 days while they are on Spring break. HA! Right... He argued with me that the court order states they are to be with him the first half of Spring break. Yes it sure does, BUT it also states after he gets his own place to live. Sooo he is pissed off cause the girls can't spend the night with him. He will get over it. I am not comfortable with the living arrangements and that is why he only sees them once a week and gets no overnights. When is he gonna realize that he needs to pull his head out of his butt and be a man and not live with his girlfriends mom and dad and his mom? IDK I guess he is doing me a favor by staying there and that is that I dont have to worry about my girls being with him. So that is a good thing.

I keep hoping one day he will grow up, yea well wishful thinking. So not going to happen. Well I am going to take a hot bath now that I got the girls settled down and in bed.

Natalie's hospital visit...

2010-03-22T23:28:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago the girls were with their father, his girlfriend and her kids. Their father took them to McDonalds and fed them and let them play at the playground. I got a text message from Jason, after I had texted him about 20 mins prior telling him I would meet him in Roseville, he text me and told me to just meet him at Sutter Roseville. I didn't think anything about the girls being hurt and I told him no that it was out of the way and to meet at the place I had told him. So the phone rang and he told me that Natalie had probably broke her arm and she was screaming in the background and of course my motherly instincts kicked in and I started questioning him and getting upset. Supposedly his girlfriends son and daughter were fighting and pushing each other and her daughter fell on Natalie's arm and Natalie pulled her arm out from under her. So I rushed to the ER after telling Jason I wanted her to go to Kaiser, not Sutter. Just my preference. For many reasons. So I called Steve and he left work as well. He got there shortly after me. By the time I got there Natalie was already in the back "waiting" room. I went back there and sat with her, she was doing ok as long as you didnt touch her arm. It was a little swollen but not to bad. So we got in our room and Steve got there. We waited awhile for a x-ray and then waited forever for the DR. to read the x-ray. The Dr. comes in and says she doesnt see any fractures of breaks but she needs to do another x-ray to make sure. So back to x-ray we went. Good news! No breaks for sure. Was what the Dr thought it was, Nursemaid elbow... basically a dislocation of the elbow. OUCH! Yea so now comes the painful part. The Dr had to relocate the elbow. The Dr tryed twice and couldnt get it relocated so she left the room and came back with a male Dr. Natalie was so upset and in so much pain. I was NOT happy. But good thing the male Dr knew what he was doing. He grabbed her arm and swung it around and pulled and pushed and within 10 seconds or less we heard a loud POP and Natalie screamed and cryed and it was over. Her elbow was back in place and she was all better but sore. :( We waited for a little bit to make sure she could use it and then we were released to go home. UGH! She is perfectly fine now and back to normal. But man that was a nightmare. Poor kid. Here are some photos of her in the hospital.

Last picture of Natalie all better at home with her Dr goodies. hehe

Just ramblings.... this and that!

2010-03-22T22:17:00.000-07:00

So I haven't blogged in awhile. I just seem to not be able to find the time to blog or I forget. I really would like to try and keep up on my blogging. So I am going to make that a goal. So I will start my rambling post with my latest good news... I have two things to talk about when it comes to good news.

First of all my divorce is now final, I am free of the ball and chain. Took almost 2 years but went to a default hearing last week and judge granted the dissolution. YAY! Been a lonnng time coming. That right there calls for a celebration. I should throw a divorce party! hehe

Second, I finally got a full time position at work in the same department doing the same thing, just went from part time to full time. I am really excited about that, I really need the benefits more than anything. Since the girls father is NOT (even though he is court ordered too) going to carry insurance on them. So this is a blessing, the girls and I will have great health insurance and the money well the money is wonderful part time so it is going to be fanfreakintabilous full time. :) So I am really excited. Only downfall to all this is the days off. I no longer have my Sundays off, I am really bummed and sad about this cause that is the only day we had as a family day. Now Steve and I have no days off together. But maybe eventually I can get my days off switched. Maybe!!

I am working extremely hard at losing weight and getting in shape. I bought a stationary bike and love that thing. I ride it nearly everyday that I can and have been riding it 13-15 miles a day. Such a great workout. Since December I have lost 35 pounds and I feel great. I have decided that I want to get in shape to be able to run my first marathon. I have always wanted to run a marathon. Steve and I also have started looking to buy mountain bikes and we are going to go do some bike riding on some trails. I am excited about that too. I feel so much better with the amount of energy I have from losing weight and the amount of exercise I get. I feel wonderful. I have reached all my mini-goals I have set for myself and have many more to go.

Spring is here and I love the weather but hate the allergies. BLAH! I have red, itchy, swollen eyes and a scratchy irritated throat and many other allergy symptoms. Just hate allergies but LOVE spring. I love to be outdoors and take the kids out. Sunday we met Steve at a mountain bike race at Folsom Lake and the kids played in the dirt and got dirty from head to toe and enjoyed every minute of the nice weather and sunshine. It was a perfect day.

Steve has been SUPER busy with his business. The busy season has kicked off so he has been working every single weekend, I hardly ever get to see him. Between his full time job, his business on the weekend, and now my full time job, we see each other just at night when we are in bed. It really sucks! But its life I guess. :( Steve had to go out of town for an event in Monterey and I missed him soooo much he was gone overnight and on Saturday afternoon before I went to work there was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it and it was a flower delivery for me. Steve had flowers delivered to me from out of town. It was soooo sweet. The card just said he missed me and was thinking of me. I love this man so much! He is my everything.

These are my beautiful flowers that my love had delivered to me! It was a very pleasant surprise. I only have one more Sunday off and then I start my new schedule. So I am hoping that Steve and I will be able to go do something together. Not sure what yet.

My oldest baby is turning 9 in a week in a half! WOW! Amazing how fast they grow up. I can remember holding her 9 years ago and singing to her and rocking her to sleep. My baby days are over! I am not going to have anymore. But I sure do cherish every last memory I have of mine when they were newborns and as they grow up. So hard to believe she is going to be 9... fun but challenging age. lol

Well I shall end this post, I am going to take a hot bath and get ready for bed. I am sore from working out. I want to relax some.

Growing up sooo fast...

2010-02-16T21:30:00.000-08:00

Hannah will soon be 9 years old and she is growing up so fast. I went to get Emily and Natalie's bangs cut and Hannah tells me mom I dont want my bangs cut, can I grow them out? I said sure what do you want to grow them out for, she says she wants to grow them out so she can layer them and have an actual "hairstyle" Ohh gosh she is getting big and developing her own personality and her own "looks" So we are growing her bangs out. Hannah has and always will be a "girly" girl. She loves to wear my heels, loves makeup, jewelry, dresses etc. I took this photo of Hannah tonight. I love it!

Fridays Postive Post-

2010-02-12T12:36:00.000-08:00

Woke up to the sunshining, a beautiful day.

Got my house cleaned, got some laundry done.

Got some treadmill time in.

Thats a good start to some Friday positives!

Family = Love

2010-02-09T16:29:00.000-08:00

My family is everything to me, Sunday Steve, the girls, the boys and I drove to Santa Nella to meet my Mom and Grandma for lunch and spent a few hours with them. I sure do miss them. It was a very nice visit. My Grandma looks great. She is doing good considering what she has been through. She is slowing down but still managing to get around some. Wish I could see them more but I sure do treasure every minute I can when I do see them. Here are a few photos from our trip.

me, my mom and grandma

Me and my mom

Me and my grandma

My mom and my girls

Saying goodbye to G.Grandma

518 days of love

2010-02-03T23:22:00.000-08:00

Today is mine and Steve's 17 month anniversary. 518 days to be exact :) lol I am so thankful to have this man in my life. He is my rock, he keeps me grounded and he is always there for me no matter what. I love him so much. Hard to believe it has been 17 months. I look forward to the rest of our life together. Sharing our love and our kids and watching our kids hit milestones and being there for them and for each other. So here is to many many more years my love. I love you to the moon and back. :)

I'm on fire

2010-02-03T00:04:00.000-08:00

It is sooo darn cold outside. I just cant seem to keep warm anymore. I have layers on layers of clothes on and I am still cold. I dont know. I used to never get cold like this. My hands and feet are always like ice cubes. LOL Only thing I can think of is the weight loss is making it harder for me to stay warm. So tonight I put on my honeys "fire" pants, they are a thick fleece and they are soooo warm. They kept me warm that is for sure. Nice and cozy! Until he gets home and has no pj pants to wear. hahahaha

So now I must go get ready for bed, I am really tired and have to get the girls off to school tomorrow and morning comes rather quick when you stay up til the crack of dawn. Working swing shift sucks sometimes, I always say I am going to go to bed early on my days off and I NEVER do. :( I really wish I could go to bed before 2 am. But my work schedule wont allow me too. UGH! Its ok! I survive. What the heck sleep is over-rated right? Well that is what I am told and I hear from others all the time. Is it really true? I dont think it is, cause I am grouchy when I dont get enough sleep, just ask Steve. LOL He will tell you its not true, for me anyways. haha Ok well I am rambling. Time for me to say goodnight blogger friends. Sleep tight. TTFN!

Another birthday has come and gone.

2010-02-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

Just another year older. lol I turned 33 on Saturday. Eh! Just another day. Some people freak out by turning older. Not me, I just have fun and say screw it, we all have to get older and we all have birthdays. I had a great birthday. I got my birthday off from work and had lunch with my family at China Moon, one of my favorites. Then came home and got my girls ready to go out to my Dad and stepmoms for the night so Steve and I could go out to dinner and a movie.

Steve and I decided on California Pizza Kitchen for dinner and then a movie afterwards, we saw "The Blindside" with Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw, What an excellent movie. I really liked it. Had a great bday night. The girls had a great time with Grandpa, they camped out with him in his trailer and said they camped out at "Jellystone" park. LOL

Just a few photos from my bday night :)

Follow me...

2010-02-01T17:07:00.000-08:00

If you would like to follow my Project 365 I have a blogger just for it. This project is where I take 1 photo a day for the entire year. :)

http://lovejoyphotography365project.blogspot.com/

Finally some answers...

2010-02-01T17:02:00.000-08:00

After all these years of fighting with the schools to get the help that Hannah needs in school, I finally got the answers I have been looking for. Now its up to me to do the research to figure out what I can do to help her. Hannah's school held an IEP meeting a couple weeks ago, but prior to her IEP, Hannah went through a lot of testing and also saw a psychologist. After 2 full weeks of testing the psychologisht and the RSP teacher came to the conculsion that Hannah has Auditory Processing Disorder and that is why she is still struggling with reading. I took this rather rough at first and left the IEP meeting in tears and cried the rest of the day and was hard on myself. I want nothing but the best for my kids and I want them to do well in school and I feel that I have failed her somehow. BUT the team I met with that day was so nice and reassuring and made me feel good about Hannah being in RSP and special needs classes. I just know how mean and hurtful other kids can be and I just dont want Hannah to be teased and get her feelings hurt. I know I cant protect her all her life. But it is still hurtful as her mother to not be able to protect her from being hurt.

So I have started by doing online research and havent found much on this disorder. But I havent given up and I wont give up. I also will be going to the library to get some books and do some reading on this and how I can help her. Now that we are aware of what the issue is , we can make the right steps to get it worked out and fix it. That makes me happy! I am proud of Hannah for coming as far as she has and for working as hard as she has.

Quality time..

2009-12-05T18:59:00.000-08:00

Quality time is much needed in relationships today. But many fail to define this need and its importance.

*Quality time is essential in building a solid relationship.

*It brings security, comfort and develops understanding.

*The way to practice this is to appreciate one another.

*Show and tell with your actions and behavior how much you admire your partner for his/her good deeds and qualities.

*Manage the balance of dependence and independence because many partners dislike when there is a tendency to cling, then they feel that they are trapped in the relationship.

*Doing activities together brings joy to both partners.

*Decide and plan outings or intimate dinners and spice up your romance.

Love concoction

2009-12-05T18:52:00.000-08:00

These following proportions should be used and increased as you spend each year with your better half.

5 tablespoons Adjustment

5 tablespoons Understanding

5 tablespoons Patience

5 tablespoons Loyalty and Devotion

5 tablespoons Empathy

Mix these ingredients together and apply it daily in your life. When both the partners do their bit of adding 5 tablespoons from their side, the relationship gets 10/10.

Work on your relationship today and live a happy, fulfilled lifetime together.

2009-11-26T10:13:00.000-08:00

Wishing everyone a happy, safe and fun Thanksgiving! I have to work but had Thanskgiving dinner yesterday with my family!

I have a lot to be thankful for, my health, my job, my kids, my honey, my dad and stepmom, my family down south, my car, a roof over my head. That is just a few of the things I am thankful for.

Inspiration

2009-11-24T21:04:00.000-08:00

Last weeks episode of Greys Anatomy was awesome I think! Miranda really said somethings to her father about getting a divorce that hit home to me. I could totally relate to everything she said. Here is what she said to her disapproving father and it really touched my heart.

"My child is healthy, he may not be with me tonight. But he is healthy and well loved boy and he is a happy boy! And staying in an unhappy marriage, a marriage that was out grown, a marriage full of ultimatums, numbness and resentment. That is not the kind of life I want to model for my child. That is not what I want him to believe married love is. I know what is possible, I know what is out there for me because I have seen it and was taught well, others have shown me what true love looks like. So I chose not to settle and I am happier for it. Even if I am alone at Thanksgiving and Christmas. My child is healthy AND I'm happy!"

I was VERY touched by this statement above. I can SO relate to every single word. I might not be alone but my children will be with their father on Thanksgiving. But knowing the above things I am at peace with it. At peace that they are not going to grow up thinking that that is the way they have to live their lives and be in a marriage that is full of hurt, anger and resentment. I chose to leave not only for these reason but other meaningful reasons. It was the hardest thing I did, but I have NEVER regretted one minute of it or looked back. I have made the best out of it and moved on and I am happy! Happier than I have been in years. The girls have adjusted well and that makes me happy too. Life is about taking chances and sacraficing. Sometimes things are better off even though you think at the time your doing the wrong thing. I believe that everything happens for a reason and sometimes we dont know what that reason is. I have a GREAT support system and I am content with my life and where I am. So please if you are a single mom dont beat yourself up over being alone on the holidays, just remember that your kids are happy, healthy and that is all that matters. :)

Happy 5th bday sweet Natalie...

2009-11-18T22:26:00.000-08:00

My baby turned 5 today. Seems like just yesterday I had her and took her home from the hospital. :) Now she is in school and thinks she is all grown up. lol Here is a timeline of her last 5 years.

Micke Grove Zoo

2009-11-18T22:22:00.000-08:00

On Sunday we took the girls to Micke Grove Zoo and spent the day out and about enjoying the last of the nice weather. It was great to get out in the fresh air and enjoy the sunshine. I havent been to Micke Grove Zoo since Emily was about 9 months old. So it was fun! Here are some photos.

One proud mommy...

2009-11-18T22:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had to go to the girls school for parent/teacher conferences and was a little nervous to find out how Natalie was doing. BUT much to my surprise she is doing WONDERFUL. I was nervous because when I would try and work with her at home she would just have melt downs and not be interested in what I was trying to teach her. I am soooo happy she is doing great in school. She had NO pre-school and just me teaching her or trying to here at home and she is just soaring like an eagle and that makes me happy. I am so glad she is catching on so quick. Teacher said she is amazed at how well she is doing since she is so young for kindergarden. :)

Hannah is doing much better too, still having some problems in reading but is doing MUCH better in all areas but her reading is much lower than grade level. This concerns me but I am happy that I met with the school about getting her IEP in place so she can get the help she needs. It is about time, I have only been fighting the schools since kindergarden about her being so behind in reading. But her teacher says she understands everything and does great in math but she just reads much slower and needs extra help. I am hopeful that she will catch on soon. She loves to read.

Emily has her parent/teacher conference tomorrow, so stay tuned to see how she is doing. :) TTFN

Doggie- Trick or treating

2009-11-01T18:24:00.000-08:00

We got to take Tizdale and Rosita, and Sassy trick or treating at a local pet shop here in Lincoln. It was cute. Rosita is my Dad and stepmoms new lil chihuahua puppy. Sassy is their lab. The shop was having a costume contest, giving out doggie goody bags with dog candy aka bones and treats. The dogs also got their photos taken by a photographer. I dont have the photo of Tiz yet. But here is one of Rosita and Tizdale wearing a hat. hehe

Trick or Treat

2009-10-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

I have to work tonight and tomorrow so I wont be able to take the girls out for trick or treating. :( Really upsets me but I have to work and cant call off. So I just have to make the best of it. Tonight my Dad and Stepmom picked the girls up early and are taking them to some trick or treating festival here in Lincoln and then taking them to dinner. So they will have fun. The girls wore their costumes to school and was in a school parade and got to go to a senior home where the old folks passed out some candy to them. I got a few photos this morning and after school. :)

Had a nice visit on our mini vacation .

2009-10-28T21:28:00.000-07:00

Steve and I took off for the weekend and had some time to ourselves, so we headed down south to see my mom, grandma and sisters. Left Sat. morning and drove to Paso Robles and had a nice bbq with my sister, neice, nephew and mom. While my nephew was bbq'in my mom, sister, steve and I all went out back and rode the horse. I had such a grrrrrrrrreat time riding. I havent rode in years. It was so fun. I kept saying I was going to be sore and sure enough the next day I could hardly walk. lol Saturday night we followed my mom to her new house and visited for a while with my grandma. Then drove down the road and got a hotel room and took a hot shower and we went to bed. Sunday we got up and had breakfast with my sisters, mom, nephew, neices, and grandma. It was a really nice breakfast. After breakfast we drove around a bit to see what has changed in my good ole hometown area and as I figured.... nothing! lol Still the same ole crap.. Then I took Steve to Morro Bay and to Morro rock, he had never been there. It was a beautiful clear day at the rock. We enjoyed the fresh coastal air. Then drove to Cambria to have lunch at one of my favorites. Main Street Grill... they have the best fish and chips. MMMMM! We drove home the long scenic route down hwy 1. At this point I was feeling realllly shitty and had a fever. But all in all it was a fabulous time. I wish it could have been longer. Here are a few photos from the trip.

Wow...take me back in time.

2009-10-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

LOL this is me when I was probably 20ish. I had this done at Picture People, wasnt called that then but it is now. Just wanted to share.

My school girls

2009-10-22T18:07:00.000-07:00

Got the girls school photos, they are soooo soooo cute. :) Love them. Here is last year and this year for Hannah and Emily and Natalies this year since she wasnt in school last year. :)

And here is Natalie in kindergarden-

And a animation of the three together ...

Love this quote

2009-10-20T17:47:00.001-07:00

I can so relate to this quote. I love it.

Tizdale is ready for halloween

2009-10-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

We bought Tizdale his own halloween shirt. LOL He doesnt really like it, but it is cute. :) It even glows in the dark. hehehe

Student of the week

2009-10-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

Natalie got the honors of being student of the week in her class last week. She got her photos and a about me bio up on a board and she got to take in things from home to share all week. She was so excited. We got the stuff back today and her teacher wrote her a cute lil note I wanted to share. Natalie is doing soooo good in school it just blows me away. She has learnt so much in such a short amount of time. I am proud of her. Keep up the good work Natalie. ;)

Sticker fun

2009-10-16T16:27:00.001-07:00

Natalie is so silly. This was her after we had lunch at in-n-out. She did this with her stickers.

Just a lil about me..

2009-10-15T18:16:00.000-07:00

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

"Everything happens for a reason. People change so we can learn to let go. Bad things happen so we can appreciate the good. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." -Anonymous

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

♥ I love being a mommy

♥ I love being in love, really being in love.

♥ I miss my mom and sisters

♥ I am really cranky first thing in the morning

♥ I love my best friend, she is the best.

♥ I never leave home without my cell phone

♥ I am addicted to ice tea

♥ I love the smell of pine sol after I clean

♥ I love the rain

♥ I love photography

♥ I dont like cake

♥ I love my family

♥ I love sleeping in

♥ I dont like spiders or snakes

♥ I dont like my food touching on my plate

♥ I am a neat freak so to say. Everything has a place

♥ I hate doing laundry

♥ I love to travel

♥ I love candles

♥ I love to drive with my radio up loud and sing along to the radio

♥ I dont really care for chocolate

♥ I love being sarcastic

♥ I hate long lines

♥ I hate stupid drivers

♥ I hate traffic

♥ I love horses and going horseback riding

♥ I am addicted to facebook and blogger :)

♥ I dislike SD

♥ I enjoy cuddling on the couch with my love

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered--forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives--be kind anyway.

If you are successful you will win some false friends--succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you--be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight--build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous--be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway." -Anonymous

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Happy 6th birthday sweet Emily

2009-10-15T16:47:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe that six years ago today you were born. You have sure grown and become a sweet, spunky, fiesty, fun, smart and energetic little girl. I love you just the way you are.

Six years ago today I went into labor on my own and went to the L&D told them I was in labor, they checked me to see if my water was leaking and said it wasnt. My contractions were not consistant but sure coming often. So they sent me back home and said it would be a little while. Mind you the dr had no idea I was being sent home, the nurse failed to call him. I was a little upset cause I got sent home knowing that I was in labor. So my mom and I leave and go to my sisters house about 5 mins away and I just kept getting worse. Could barely talk through my contractions at this point. When I left the hospital I was 1 1/2 cm dialated. I made my mom call the Dr office before they went to lunch and the Dr was very upset he knew nothing about me leaving the L&D and said to get back there asap. So off we went back to the :L&D. At this time I am miserable and could not even walk across the parking lot to the wheelchair waiting for me at the front door. I get back to L&D and my Dr meets me in the hallway. He checks me and I am not almost 5 cm dialted. I was moving fast. You were determined to come out and see what the world had to offer. It was 1:45 when I got back to L&D and had you at 7:22 pm October 15th 2003. This was the fastest and easiest labor I had. You were born weighing 6lbs 14oz and 19 inches long. You were perfect in every way.

Here is a small timeline of photos from the last six years.

Emily newborn

Emily 1st bday

Emily 2nd bday

Emily 3rd bday

Emily 4th bday

Emily 5th bday

Emily 6th bday

One silly 6 year old :)

We LOVE you Emily! Happy Birthday!

Winter weather...

2009-10-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

I love this rainy wintery weather we have had all day. I love the rain. It smells so fresh outside. Today was a pretty normal day. Take girls to school and pick them up. After we picked Natalie up we went to lunch and then came home and had some cuddle time and watched Trauma together under a blanket all cozy.

The girls and I went for a drive and got a few neat photos. Now I am in for the night and going to just relax.

Interesting reading ...

2009-10-13T00:05:00.000-07:00

Emily was reading something rather interesting, sitting on the toilet while I got ready for work. LOL Silly girl!

Monday is almost over...

2009-10-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. Got up and got the girls off to school. Natalie had a field trip to Bishops Pumpkin Patch. After we dropped the girls off at school Steve and I got to go out for breakfast at the Country Kitchen here in Lincoln. It is nice to spend some time together alone. After breakfast we ran a few errands and then picked Nat up from school. She had a great time on the big bus ( although mommy was kinda worried, but Steve helped keep me distracted by spending the morning with me. ) she got to get her very own pumpkin and she said she wanted to make pumkin pie. LOL

Hannah and Emily were on early release today, so after we picked them up we went to a car dealership to look for a car for Steve since ASU 1 has officially died :(

Came home just in time for Steve to get ready for work and for me to start the daily after school routine. YAY! Homework, dinner and baths. Then I get some me time after bedtime. hehe So that is my day in a nutshell. I am so ready for the rainy weather and colder weather. I love winter and the rain.

Time for me to go relax and wait for Steve to get home. TTFN!

J-

Time never stands still...

2009-10-08T13:34:00.000-07:00

If only time would stand still for just an hour or two, I think I would be happy. I would be able to cherish those moments I have with the ones I love deeply. My days are so busy and seem to go by so quickly. Now with all three girls in school, my afternoon is dedicated to hours of homework..but it is a bittersweet moment, time I get to spend one on one with each one of the girls and help them. I do enjoy that. I just wish that things could slow down a notch and that I could have time with my family, all 8 of us together.

I have not blogged in forever, once again I stay busy and tend to forget. But I miss it. So here is an update on my family:

Steve and I are doing wonderful. I love this man like I have never loved before. He is so good to me and the girls. Our love for one another just makes me shed tears of happiness. Steve is a very busy person and I admire what he does.. He works hard to keep his business up and staffed and that is his passion. He works a full time job and has his business on the weekends so he leads a very busy life too. I am still working part time at the casino and my other time is spent with the girls and family. I hope to eventually become full time. Maybe with the casinos expansion. I am looking to get back into my photography, just takes money and well right now I dont have alot of that. Not any extra to spend on my photography. But with time it will get better.

The kiddos are all doing well.. Hannah is doing wonderful this year in school. Such a HUGE improvement, this is what she needed was an extra year. I have fought the schools so much with her academics and it has become frustrating. But I am so happy to see she is doing better. Emily is just an ambitious little thing, she LOVES school and has adapted to first grade like she already knew what to do. She is always wanting to do her homework and her sisters. LOL She is ready very well and doing great in school. Natalie she is adjustig to kindergarden well and catching on quick. She loves school too. The boys are doing great and we all got to go out and spend some time together at the pumpkin patch. And little Genna is getting so big and she is doing great too. She comes to see us on Mondays for the day.

I cant beleive it is almost time for the holidays again. Seems like we just went through all the holidays and here it is October again. I love this time of year. Just not loving the fact that I have to share my holidays with SD and not have the girls for some of the holidays. I normally have to work anyways but we celebrate before I go to work. Oh well that is life. Well I am off to get some things done before work and before I have to pick up the girls from school. TTFN