Influence...

in·flu·ence [ ín floo ənss ]
noun (plural in·flu·enc·es)
Definition:

1. effect on something: the effect of something on a person, thing, or event

It amazes me that I allowed certain people to have such a huge influence on my life, I look back now and realize that I made a huge mistake and handled things totally wrong. I could have handled things a lot differently and still got the same results as I do now, a divorce. I needed out of my marriage and yes that was the last straw and that was my way out but I know for a fact that things were done for one reason only and I am entitled to my opinions and so is everyone else. J and I were not getting along and had no love left for one another and it was time to move on with our lives, I have learnt a GREAT life lesson out of all of this. I swore I never lived with any regrets and never would but I sure do and they haunt me. I was influenced a great deal and at the time thought I was doing the right thing but looking back now I think I could have handled things so much differently and still be right here where I am today. I hold NO grudges and I forgive and forget, some people dont and that is fine. That is their life. I have to get past my regrets and move on with my life and I am doing that with each day that passes. I have learnt to not let others influence me without me really taking the time to think about what I want and how I want to handle things. I know my situation and my life better than anyone else and I will make the decision with the influence of outsiders. I will although be glad to take the influence of loved ones who truly love me and care about me. Well I am rambling and need to get to bed. I just need to get this off my chest and so there ya have it.