Snow day = mental health day...

Steve and I went to Tahoe on Tuesday and spent the day there,  it was nice but REALLY cold.  We had to put chains on the pathfinder to get over the hill.  That was an adventure.  The girls were with their dad for Thanksgiving so we took advantage of having a rare moment .. time alone just the two of us. It seems pretty rare lately. We went and did a little bit of gambling at Harveys and Harrahs then had a yummy dinner at the cafe at Harrahs... then we headed home.  It was dark and freeeezing cold on the way home but we still had to keep the chains on.  I love the snow but would never want to live in it.  lol

Snow day = mental health day...

Steve and I went to Tahoe on Tuesday and spent the day there,  it was nice but REALLY cold.  We had to put chains on the pathfinder to get over the hill.  That was an adventure.  The girls were with their dad for Thanksgiving so we took advantage of having a rare moment .. time alone just the two of us. It seems pretty rare lately. We went and did a little bit of gambling at Harveys and Harrahs then had a yummy dinner at the cafe at Harrahs... then we headed home.  It was dark and freeeezing cold on the way home but we still had to keep the chains on.  I love the snow but would never want to live in it.  lol

Thanksgiving.. has come and gone..

I still find it hard to beleive it is almost Decemeber, like reallly close to December.  Seems like it was just Halloween,  but now Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is fastly approaching.  I love the holidays but they are really stressful. :/

Thanksgiving we spent out at my Dad and stepmoms on Wednesday cause Steve and I both had to work on Thursday.  We had all 6 kids and had a good dinner out at my Dad and stepmoms house.  They kids played and enjoyed each other.

Thanksgiving day I spent with just the girls.  Steve had to work... then we both had to work in the evening.

Thanksgiving.. has come and gone..

I still find it hard to beleive it is almost Decemeber, like reallly close to December.  Seems like it was just Halloween,  but now Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is fastly approaching.  I love the holidays but they are really stressful. :/

Thanksgiving we spent out at my Dad and stepmoms on Wednesday cause Steve and I both had to work on Thursday.  We had all 6 kids and had a good dinner out at my Dad and stepmoms house.  They kids played and enjoyed each other.

Thanksgiving day I spent with just the girls.  Steve had to work... then we both had to work in the evening.

Happy Anniversary..

Two years ago today I fell in love with him,  and today I am still madly in love with him.  Happy 2 year Anniversary Stephen!  I love you to the moon and back.  Here is to many, many more years to come.

These are the pretty flowers my honey got me for our anniversary !! :)

Happy Anniversary..

Two years ago today I fell in love with him,  and today I am still madly in love with him.  Happy 2 year Anniversary Stephen!  I love you to the moon and back.  Here is to many, many more years to come.

These are the pretty flowers my honey got me for our anniversary !! :)

Stay tuned....

For some photos of me from when I was a MUCH larger girl.  Coming soon!

On the right path...

I am on the right path to getting my self esteem back and losing weight to improve my self esteem.  I have recently started my diet again.  It has been a week and I have lost 5 lbs.  :)  YAY!  I am proud of that.  I have been doing good with my portions and watching what I eat.

Now on to helping myself build my self esteem.  I will normally not wear tight fitting shirts but the other day I left the house with a shirt that was a little more tight fitting than I like or than I am used too.  BUT of course what did I bring with me?  I took my sweater to cover myself up if I started feeling self conscience.  But I actually did ok.  I left my sweater off.  WHY?  Because I avoided mirrors and my reflections in the windows.  :(  I know if I would have looked at myself I would have put my sweater on and it was really warm out.  BUT that is a step in the right direction right?  Or is it?  lol  I dont know. 

Building my own self esteem

This is an area I really need to focus on.  This is something I really need to stop and think about and realize I am who I am and I have people in my life who love me the way I am and the way I look now.  BUT I have to love myself too.  How do I love myself when I am so disgusted with what I have to see in the mirror everyday.  I hate mirrors.  I really wish I didnt have to look in a mirror or a reflection in a window when we are walking past a building.  I hate seeing myself and what I look like in a reflection or in a mirror.  I need to learn to love myself.  I need to understand that I was once this BIG girl.  I once was 85-90 lbs heavier than I am now and much more unhealthy.  Yes I have a lot more to lose.  But if I did it before I can do it again.

I have a man in my life that tells me I am beautiful and sexy everyday.  And I just beat myself up and say I am fat and ugly.  Why?!?!  Because that is what I honestly feel like and what I honestly see when I look at myself in a reflection or in a mirror.  I want more than anything to feel comfortable in my own skin and be confident in what I am wearing and what I look like.  I want more than anything to feel beautiful and sexy.  I feel bad for upsetting him when he tells me I am beautiful and sexy and I put myself down. 

So this is what I have to work on.   And I am going to try and make it a point to say something positive about myself daily.  :)

Not just a weight loss journey....

But a self esteem journey as well.  For years I have battled with my self esteem and the way I look and feel when I am out in public surrounded  by beautiful, skinny women.  I just feel myself get depressed and down on myself when we are out somewhere and a beautiful skinny woman is around and it catches my significant others attention.  I feel horrible.  Yes it is normal for men to look.  But I want to be thin and be someone he is proud to be with, not that I dont think he isnt proud to be with me but I want to turn his head even though he sees me everyday. 

I know I have a self esteem problem and I know that I am way to hard on myself and I know I need to lose weight to make myself feel better and I am going to do just that.  It is so sad when it is really hot outside and I have to keep myself covered up in baggy clothes and not show my legs or anything because I am ashamed of myself and the way I look.  Then once again here it is almost summer and all these beautiful skinny women are out in their cute dresses and shorts and tank tops and yes I get even more depressed because I want to be confident enough to wear that kind of thing too.  I honestly really dislike myself. 

So I have created this blog to vent again my weight loss ups and downs and also to vent about how I am feeling self esteem wise.  I have some days that are better than others.  But I really do have a lot of down days and let me tell you this consumes my life and affects my life and relationship with my boyfriend a lot.  I take how I look seriously and I am very sensitive about it.  VERY sensitive.  I am back on my diet for the most part and I am going to be losing weight again.  I have been at a plateau for a few months and I want to get up and over this bump and get on with my journey. 

All my life I have felt this way and have kept myself covered up and felt insecure about the way I look and I dont want that anymore and only I can make that change and make that difference.  And damn it I am going to do my best to change it. 

School is officially out...

School is out for my kids.  I am pretty excited about that.  Means that we can go out of town on our days off and do fun things on the two days off we get as a family when we are not working.  Go for road trips and just have BBQs with friends and hang out. 

I am so proud of my girls this year they have done soooo well in school.  Hannah is making progress in reading but is still behind for her age,  but she is doing better. Hannah has really started to read better and her math is excellent. I am so proud of her. Emily is off the charts,  she is excelling and then some.  She is at a almost 3rd grade level right now and she will be entering 2nd grade.  She loves to read and write.  Natalie is doing excellent too.  For only being 4 1/2 years old when she started kindergarden she is also a little advanced for her age.  Her teacher said she is more than ready for 1st grade and I was so happy to hear that,  because I was a little concerned she wouldnt be ready because she was young.  But she sure proved me wrong.  :)

We have a new family member and we all love him to death.  He is a 3 year old Pug named Frank.  He is so cute and Tizdale is the only one who isnt to fond of him BUT he is getting better with him.  They are starting to play together and lay together.  They are sooo cute.  We take them for walks and they are warming up to each other.  The kids just LOVE him.  And of course they still love Tizdale.  lol 

Steve and I are getting ready for all the OT we are going to be getting at work for the grand opening of the hotel at the casino.  It is going to be crazy with all the stuff they have going on and the concerts.  Steve for sure will have more OT than me. (I think)  I am excited cause I want to save the money for something nice.  Maybe a nice vacation or something.  I dont know.

Well I am going to go relax,  I am a little stressed tonight.  Have someone I love on my mind and I am worried about him.  He is sick right now and in the hospital and I hope he gets well soon.  So I am going to go cuddle with my honey. 

School is officially out...

School is out for my kids.  I am pretty excited about that.  Means that we can go out of town on our days off and do fun things on the two days off we get as a family when we are not working.  Go for road trips and just have BBQs with friends and hang out. 

I am so proud of my girls this year they have done soooo well in school.  Hannah is making progress in reading but is still behind for her age,  but she is doing better. Hannah has really started to read better and her math is excellent. I am so proud of her. Emily is off the charts,  she is excelling and then some.  She is at a almost 3rd grade level right now and she will be entering 2nd grade.  She loves to read and write.  Natalie is doing excellent too.  For only being 4 1/2 years old when she started kindergarden she is also a little advanced for her age.  Her teacher said she is more than ready for 1st grade and I was so happy to hear that,  because I was a little concerned she wouldnt be ready because she was young.  But she sure proved me wrong.  :)

We have a new family member and we all love him to death.  He is a 3 year old Pug named Frank.  He is so cute and Tizdale is the only one who isnt to fond of him BUT he is getting better with him.  They are starting to play together and lay together.  They are sooo cute.  We take them for walks and they are warming up to each other.  The kids just LOVE him.  And of course they still love Tizdale.  lol 

Steve and I are getting ready for all the OT we are going to be getting at work for the grand opening of the hotel at the casino.  It is going to be crazy with all the stuff they have going on and the concerts.  Steve for sure will have more OT than me. (I think)  I am excited cause I want to save the money for something nice.  Maybe a nice vacation or something.  I dont know.

Well I am going to go relax,  I am a little stressed tonight.  Have someone I love on my mind and I am worried about him.  He is sick right now and in the hospital and I hope he gets well soon.  So I am going to go cuddle with my honey. 

Been MIA..

Just been super busy with the kids and almost the end of the school year,  been busy with work.  Going from 24 hours a week to 40 hours a week is a big change and doesn't leave much time for blogging or even logging onto the computer.  Some days I don't even log on or even turn my computer on.  I have so much to do lately. 

I had my EEG on Tues and I am not sure of the results yet.  My doctor will notify me when he has the results.  So hopefully soon.  Got a letter from DMV for a re-evaluation in June,  well at the end of June.  I hope to have my license back soon.  It sucks not being able to drive :( 

Steve and I just recently purchased mountain bikes.  I LOVE going out for rides with him.  We go out quite a bit, when we can.  We are going to get the kids out with us too.  I want to get a co-pilot for Emily and possibly Natalie too so that they can get familiar with the roads and the rules of the roads before they are on their own bikes.  Hannah does ok,  but the other two need to be on a co-pilot bike or maybe a bike buggy to pull behind the bike for Natalie.  Then we can go when we have the girls too for rides. :)  Cause I LOVE going out for rides. 

Steve got his schedule changed and we now have the same days off again.  Nice to actually have a little time with him.  Our schedule before was working fine but could get rather stressful at times.  I just love the fact that we can sit down and have dinner together at our home again.  Haven't been able to do that in months. 

Well I am off to finish getting ready for work.  It is my Monday.  YUCK!!  Well it is OUR Monday! LOL  I wanted to share some photos of our bike riding trips.  So here are some photos. These are all taken off our cell phones :)

Been MIA..

Just been super busy with the kids and almost the end of the school year,  been busy with work.  Going from 24 hours a week to 40 hours a week is a big change and doesn't leave much time for blogging or even logging onto the computer.  Some days I don't even log on or even turn my computer on.  I have so much to do lately. 

I had my EEG on Tues and I am not sure of the results yet.  My doctor will notify me when he has the results.  So hopefully soon.  Got a letter from DMV for a re-evaluation in June,  well at the end of June.  I hope to have my license back soon.  It sucks not being able to drive :( 

Steve and I just recently purchased mountain bikes.  I LOVE going out for rides with him.  We go out quite a bit, when we can.  We are going to get the kids out with us too.  I want to get a co-pilot for Emily and possibly Natalie too so that they can get familiar with the roads and the rules of the roads before they are on their own bikes.  Hannah does ok,  but the other two need to be on a co-pilot bike or maybe a bike buggy to pull behind the bike for Natalie.  Then we can go when we have the girls too for rides. :)  Cause I LOVE going out for rides. 

Steve got his schedule changed and we now have the same days off again.  Nice to actually have a little time with him.  Our schedule before was working fine but could get rather stressful at times.  I just love the fact that we can sit down and have dinner together at our home again.  Haven't been able to do that in months. 

Well I am off to finish getting ready for work.  It is my Monday.  YUCK!!  Well it is OUR Monday! LOL  I wanted to share some photos of our bike riding trips.  So here are some photos. These are all taken off our cell phones :)

Post It Note Tuesday

Post It Note Tuesday

Good news... bad news!

I had my neurology appointment today and the good news is my MRI was normal.  I am really happy about that.  Although now I am still left with no answers on what is going on with my migraines.  I want my drivers license back.  I want my life back to normal.  I have Steve's help and he has been really helpful and good about getting the girls to and from school and helping me get to and from work,  but this man is the busiest man I know and I just want to be able to do things for myself again.  It is extremely stressful to try and make sure I have rides to work on the days he is off and has an event and to make sure the girls are taken care of.  My Dad and Stepmom are extremely helpful too and I am soooo thankful for them as well.

Next step is to have an EEG done and from there I don't know what will happen.  They are trying to rule out seizures.  I sent an email to my dr asking about my license and he says Ca state law is my license be suspended for 3 months.  So that is what has to be done. :(  I really hope these 3 months go by fast.  It has only been three weeks and my Dad called DMV and they have not received the letter from my Dr yet so my 3 months has not started yet :(  Grrrrrrrrrrr  But I filled the paperwork out myself and mailed it in to speed up the process. 

So hopefully soon this will all be over and I can go on with my normal life and put this chaotic life behind me.  lol 

Good news... bad news!

I had my neurology appointment today and the good news is my MRI was normal.  I am really happy about that.  Although now I am still left with no answers on what is going on with my migraines.  I want my drivers license back.  I want my life back to normal.  I have Steve's help and he has been really helpful and good about getting the girls to and from school and helping me get to and from work,  but this man is the busiest man I know and I just want to be able to do things for myself again.  It is extremely stressful to try and make sure I have rides to work on the days he is off and has an event and to make sure the girls are taken care of.  My Dad and Stepmom are extremely helpful too and I am soooo thankful for them as well.

Next step is to have an EEG done and from there I don't know what will happen.  They are trying to rule out seizures.  I sent an email to my dr asking about my license and he says Ca state law is my license be suspended for 3 months.  So that is what has to be done. :(  I really hope these 3 months go by fast.  It has only been three weeks and my Dad called DMV and they have not received the letter from my Dr yet so my 3 months has not started yet :(  Grrrrrrrrrrr  But I filled the paperwork out myself and mailed it in to speed up the process. 

So hopefully soon this will all be over and I can go on with my normal life and put this chaotic life behind me.  lol 

Probably the hardest 3 months of my life

I will start from the beginning so you can understand why things are the way they are.  I have a history of migraines and tension headaches,  recently in the last few months they have been getting more intense in pain and causing me to feel dizzy and faint.  The first week of April I developed what I thought was a migraine and I just couldnt get rid of it so I went to the ER after throwing up for 2 days straight and I was so miserable.  I went to Kaiser and got injections and they didnt touch the pain,  the nurse said to go home and sleep it off.  I was on my normal day off of work.  So I went home and slept.  Woke up still feeling awful.  My head pounding and feeling sick to my stomache.  Normally I can get rid of them with the injections and I havent had a migraine in almost a year in a half.  The next morning I woke up and just couldnt take it anymore so I asked Steve to take me to Sutter Roseville this time.  So once at Sutter they did there protocol for migraines, which is an IV with fluids and IV meds.  I started feeling better and my headache eased up and I left there feeling pretty good,  just weak.  Although I had to work.  So I went to work that night.  BAD idea.  Not even 3 hours into my shift my head started pounding again and my nausea was back.  I couldnt leave work because if we leave it counts as an attendance write up and I was already on a verbal and didnt want to go to a final.  So I toughed it out but the lights, smoke and noise was just k illing me.  I made it through the night.  Came home and went to bed and had a rough night trying to sleep. 

The next morning I called my Dad and asked if he could take the girls so Steve could once again take me to the ER because I couldnt stop throwing up again and my head pain was horrible.  So he said that was fine.  And off to Sutter once again we went.  UGH!  Once at Sutter we got to the back and the Dr said that since the migraine protocol didnt work then it probably wasnt a migraine headache that it was a tension headache and he would prescribe me a med for it and a med for the nausea and that I couldnt go to work because it was a narcotic and would affect my judgement and handling money wouldnt be good.  Great!  He said he would write me a note.  Well this place I call a job,  doesnt accept Dr. notes we still get written up.  Nice huh?!?  So I agreed at this point I didnt care I was so done being in pain and being at the ER.  I left there and got my meds.  The girls stayed at my dads and I took that med and was out for 10 hours straight,  woke up with no headache.  Although Steve came home at midnight to find me passed out in the hallway and had a hard time waking me up.  I do remember getting up to go to the bathroom but dont know how long I was there.  I think it was a combo of the narcotic and me feeling dizzy. 

So I did get in trouble at work and went to a written.  :(  Hey thats life,  I felt better and was able to function and thats all I cared about at that point.  I just recently went full time and have been waiting on my benefits so I could go to the Dr for my migraines again.  In the meantime I was put on this new narcotic and imitrex by the ER Dr and only took it when needed.  I was at work on last Friday and developed yet again another migraine and left the floor to get sick and was in the bathroom and stood up too fast after getting sick and felt dizzy and faint and fe;l forward and hit my cheek on the toilet paper roll in the stall.  I had a huge bruise and my boss made an EMT look at me and they sent me home.  I didnt ask to go home because I knew I would be written up and put on a final and I didnt want that.  So I came home and took one of my narcotic pills and went to bed and got rid of my migraine and felt much better on Saturday and went to work Saturday and Sunday.  On Monday I was on the floor for almost 2 hours when I get a call to go to HR,  so I did thinking it was about my benefits,  Nope wrong.  HR told me I needed to go home and not come back until I get a Dr note saying that I am able to work to my fullest potential on the new meds I was taking.  Yea really?  They think that is why I fell in the bathroom on Friday.  Ok then why did they let me work Saturday and Sunday then?   This place is a joke.  UGH!  Oh well!  So I left and was going on my days off (Tues and Weds)  So I got up Tues morning and went to the ER and got a note from a Dr releasing me saying the meds were fine.  Cause I only take the narcotic at night time.  So I take the note directly to HR and they release me back to work.  While I am there my big head boss stops me in the hall and I ask her if I was also going to get written up for being sent home for HR and she says no but you are being written up for being sent home on Friday.  That is bull crap cause I didnt ask to go home my shift manager said I couldnt work under the condition I was in.  So I am fighting that write up.  Grrrrr

I get my benefits and they are active now as of April 1st so I go to the Dr this friday and I got some really bad news.  I wanted to express to him that my migraines are a problem and I wanted to also have him fill out fmla paperwork so I am protected at work when I call off for a migraine and I wont be written up because I have a chronic medical condition (migraines)  So he had no problem filling out the paperwork.  I also expressed to him that I might need to see a neurologist or headache specialist to get to the bottom of these headaches since I have had them all my life with no relief.  He asked if I have had any passing out spells and I told him yes and Steve explained what happened and as well as what happened at work.  Well the bad news is by law he has to report to DMV that I have passing out spells and now I have lost my drivers license for 3 months minimum and I cant drive. :(  I am soooo upset.  I now have to depend on everyone else to get me to work,  to take my girls to and from school.  I know it doesnt sound that bad, but I am a very very independent woman and like to do things for myself and this has really really hit me hard.  Driving is my outlet.  I like to sometimes just get in my car with my camera and go take photos,  I cant do that now.  I am now stuck in the house unless I call someone for a ride.  :(  I dont know if I can take this.  The next 3 months will be challenge that is for sure.  I cant just get in the car and go to the grocery store when I run out of something.  UGH!  I have been crying all weekend and I am so down. :(  So emotional.  I know that this might be for the best so I dont harm my kids or some innocent person if I pass out while driving but this is hard to take in.  I would never want to harm my kids or someone else and I know that the Dr is by law doing what he has to do.  BUT I just hate this.  :(  But on a good note I am getting a MRI and I am being referred to a neurologist and will get to the bottom of what is going on with these darn migraines.  Hopefully!

So that is my bad news.  I am just so darn upset.  I am trying to stay busy but there is only so much I can do in this darn house.  :( 

Probably the hardest 3 months of my life

I will start from the beginning so you can understand why things are the way they are.  I have a history of migraines and tension headaches,  recently in the last few months they have been getting more intense in pain and causing me to feel dizzy and faint.  The first week of April I developed what I thought was a migraine and I just couldnt get rid of it so I went to the ER after throwing up for 2 days straight and I was so miserable.  I went to Kaiser and got injections and they didnt touch the pain,  the nurse said to go home and sleep it off.  I was on my normal day off of work.  So I went home and slept.  Woke up still feeling awful.  My head pounding and feeling sick to my stomache.  Normally I can get rid of them with the injections and I havent had a migraine in almost a year in a half.  The next morning I woke up and just couldnt take it anymore so I asked Steve to take me to Sutter Roseville this time.  So once at Sutter they did there protocol for migraines, which is an IV with fluids and IV meds.  I started feeling better and my headache eased up and I left there feeling pretty good,  just weak.  Although I had to work.  So I went to work that night.  BAD idea.  Not even 3 hours into my shift my head started pounding again and my nausea was back.  I couldnt leave work because if we leave it counts as an attendance write up and I was already on a verbal and didnt want to go to a final.  So I toughed it out but the lights, smoke and noise was just k illing me.  I made it through the night.  Came home and went to bed and had a rough night trying to sleep. 

The next morning I called my Dad and asked if he could take the girls so Steve could once again take me to the ER because I couldnt stop throwing up again and my head pain was horrible.  So he said that was fine.  And off to Sutter once again we went.  UGH!  Once at Sutter we got to the back and the Dr said that since the migraine protocol didnt work then it probably wasnt a migraine headache that it was a tension headache and he would prescribe me a med for it and a med for the nausea and that I couldnt go to work because it was a narcotic and would affect my judgement and handling money wouldnt be good.  Great!  He said he would write me a note.  Well this place I call a job,  doesnt accept Dr. notes we still get written up.  Nice huh?!?  So I agreed at this point I didnt care I was so done being in pain and being at the ER.  I left there and got my meds.  The girls stayed at my dads and I took that med and was out for 10 hours straight,  woke up with no headache.  Although Steve came home at midnight to find me passed out in the hallway and had a hard time waking me up.  I do remember getting up to go to the bathroom but dont know how long I was there.  I think it was a combo of the narcotic and me feeling dizzy. 

So I did get in trouble at work and went to a written.  :(  Hey thats life,  I felt better and was able to function and thats all I cared about at that point.  I just recently went full time and have been waiting on my benefits so I could go to the Dr for my migraines again.  In the meantime I was put on this new narcotic and imitrex by the ER Dr and only took it when needed.  I was at work on last Friday and developed yet again another migraine and left the floor to get sick and was in the bathroom and stood up too fast after getting sick and felt dizzy and faint and fe;l forward and hit my cheek on the toilet paper roll in the stall.  I had a huge bruise and my boss made an EMT look at me and they sent me home.  I didnt ask to go home because I knew I would be written up and put on a final and I didnt want that.  So I came home and took one of my narcotic pills and went to bed and got rid of my migraine and felt much better on Saturday and went to work Saturday and Sunday.  On Monday I was on the floor for almost 2 hours when I get a call to go to HR,  so I did thinking it was about my benefits,  Nope wrong.  HR told me I needed to go home and not come back until I get a Dr note saying that I am able to work to my fullest potential on the new meds I was taking.  Yea really?  They think that is why I fell in the bathroom on Friday.  Ok then why did they let me work Saturday and Sunday then?   This place is a joke.  UGH!  Oh well!  So I left and was going on my days off (Tues and Weds)  So I got up Tues morning and went to the ER and got a note from a Dr releasing me saying the meds were fine.  Cause I only take the narcotic at night time.  So I take the note directly to HR and they release me back to work.  While I am there my big head boss stops me in the hall and I ask her if I was also going to get written up for being sent home for HR and she says no but you are being written up for being sent home on Friday.  That is bull crap cause I didnt ask to go home my shift manager said I couldnt work under the condition I was in.  So I am fighting that write up.  Grrrrr

I get my benefits and they are active now as of April 1st so I go to the Dr this friday and I got some really bad news.  I wanted to express to him that my migraines are a problem and I wanted to also have him fill out fmla paperwork so I am protected at work when I call off for a migraine and I wont be written up because I have a chronic medical condition (migraines)  So he had no problem filling out the paperwork.  I also expressed to him that I might need to see a neurologist or headache specialist to get to the bottom of these headaches since I have had them all my life with no relief.  He asked if I have had any passing out spells and I told him yes and Steve explained what happened and as well as what happened at work.  Well the bad news is by law he has to report to DMV that I have passing out spells and now I have lost my drivers license for 3 months minimum and I cant drive. :(  I am soooo upset.  I now have to depend on everyone else to get me to work,  to take my girls to and from school.  I know it doesnt sound that bad, but I am a very very independent woman and like to do things for myself and this has really really hit me hard.  Driving is my outlet.  I like to sometimes just get in my car with my camera and go take photos,  I cant do that now.  I am now stuck in the house unless I call someone for a ride.  :(  I dont know if I can take this.  The next 3 months will be challenge that is for sure.  I cant just get in the car and go to the grocery store when I run out of something.  UGH!  I have been crying all weekend and I am so down. :(  So emotional.  I know that this might be for the best so I dont harm my kids or some innocent person if I pass out while driving but this is hard to take in.  I would never want to harm my kids or someone else and I know that the Dr is by law doing what he has to do.  BUT I just hate this.  :(  But on a good note I am getting a MRI and I am being referred to a neurologist and will get to the bottom of what is going on with these darn migraines.  Hopefully!

So that is my bad news.  I am just so darn upset.  I am trying to stay busy but there is only so much I can do in this darn house.  :( 

Bad news!

Received bad news,  when I am ready to talk about it or blog about it,  I will fill you in.  Right now I am just trying to soak it in myself.  I am really upset about it and it sure has made me down and out.  I will gather my thoughts and put a blog together soon to fill you in.  :( 

Bad news!

Received bad news,  when I am ready to talk about it or blog about it,  I will fill you in.  Right now I am just trying to soak it in myself.  I am really upset about it and it sure has made me down and out.  I will gather my thoughts and put a blog together soon to fill you in.  :( 

Tuesdays-Tree photo fun

"One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure."

                                                              William Feather

Tuesdays-Tree photo fun

"One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure."

                                                              William Feather

B&W Wednesdays

I got this idea from another blogger, I love it!  So I wanted to give it a try.  So here is my B&W Wednesday!  Natalie outside playing with her bear,  she was deep in thought.

B&W Wednesdays

I got this idea from another blogger, I love it!  So I wanted to give it a try.  So here is my B&W Wednesday!  Natalie outside playing with her bear,  she was deep in thought.