Yes it was extremely hard.. BUT the fact is I was strong at work and cracked as soon as I got in my car. I had to pull over and cry for almost 45 mins. I couldnt drive. WHY? OMG! WHY? This is so hard. I just didnt think I would take it this hard. But when you love someone I guess you hurt when they just out of the blue with no warning one day say "Yea this is it, Goodbye." That fucking hurts!! The day before this happened we had a fantastic day. Spent all day together and had fun. I just dont know anymore. I keep running these things through my head and beating myself up and just want to erase him from my memories and my mind but I cant. I just cant get him out of my head. Grrr I am getting off topic here.
So work went pretty good. I was strong. It was hard to be strong. Especially when he came to tell me something and I wanted to just break down, which I did have to leave the floor for a few mins but I gained my thoughts and got back out there and kept my chin up. I did make quite a few mistakes but I had my favorite awesome boss who understood and he helped me a ton. He reassured me that it would be fine. We all make mistakes. I just cant focus and it sucks to have that much freaking money and to not be able to do my job properly. I have to find a way to just get on with my life and leave him as nothing but a mere memory. He has made it clear the last few days that he wants NOTHING to do with me period. I am past the hurt stage now and approaching the angry stage. :( Angry because he wont answer my questions... I have asked him. Angry because he thinks that I can just walk away this easy and not look back, I am sorry if he can. I guess his words and everything he said to me the last 3 months werent genuine and true they were all a lie... He never truly loved me. He seems like he doesnt care is what I am trying to say. I can look at him and see he doesnt care. I thought I knew him better. I guess I really didnt know him.
I am back off topic but my mind is wondering and I am exhausted! I just cant seem to get things off my mind. Well Happy Thursday to you!
J-
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